1 00:00:37,579 --> 00:00:40,624 - Hello? - Sonny, it's your dad. You asleep? 2 00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:43,877 No. Hey, man. I was exercising. 3 00:00:44,169 --> 00:00:46,630 - Bullshit. You were sleeping. - I wasn't. 4 00:00:46,797 --> 00:00:50,259 This kid won't stop lying to me. You still act like you're 6. 5 00:00:50,467 --> 00:00:53,804 Yeah, okay, Dad. I act like I'm 6. 6 00:00:54,805 --> 00:00:57,808 Found a job yet where you work more than one day a week? 7 00:00:58,058 --> 00:00:59,309 I've been looking. 8 00:01:00,143 --> 00:01:01,311 Looking won't pay the rent. 9 00:01:01,478 --> 00:01:03,939 All the money I won from the cab accident... 10 00:01:04,147 --> 00:01:06,608 ...Is kicking ass in the stock market, so relax. 11 00:01:06,817 --> 00:01:09,319 - Don't blow it on worthless crap. - l won't. 12 00:01:11,113 --> 00:01:13,699 You should spend it on your bar exam. 13 00:01:13,991 --> 00:01:16,618 You're the lawyer. I ain't taking a bar exam. 14 00:01:16,827 --> 00:01:18,829 I got too much other shit going on. 15 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,332 I don't know what happened to you. 16 00:01:22,499 --> 00:01:25,669 How're things going with your girlfriend, Vanessa? 17 00:01:25,836 --> 00:01:27,004 Things are going fine. 18 00:01:27,337 --> 00:01:28,630 Shit! 19 00:01:28,797 --> 00:01:29,840 I gotta go. 20 00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:32,843 Shit! You turned off the alarm clock again. 21 00:01:33,010 --> 00:01:36,847 No! I mean, yes, I did, but I thought you needed more sleep. 22 00:01:37,180 --> 00:01:40,601 I shouldn't have stayed here. That was a jerk thing to do. 23 00:01:40,851 --> 00:01:43,437 Why are you going to work? It's Sunday. 24 00:01:43,687 --> 00:01:47,482 I'm not going to work. I'm going to brunch with potential clients. 25 00:01:47,691 --> 00:01:51,320 That's how a party planner gets business, by making contacts. 26 00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:54,865 Meet with me. I'll order in from Cozy's. We'll have fun. 27 00:01:55,032 --> 00:01:58,869 I am sick of Cozy's. You order in from there all the time. 28 00:01:59,036 --> 00:02:00,704 The delivery guy's your best friend. 29 00:02:00,871 --> 00:02:03,040 He happens to be pretty damn nice. 30 00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:05,042 This is a rough patch in my life. 31 00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:08,795 Syracuse is 0 and 3. And I got those medical problems. 32 00:02:09,046 --> 00:02:10,172 Medical problems? 33 00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:14,009 A cab runs over your foot two years ago. You're hospitalized one night. 34 00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:16,053 First of all, that cab was huge. 35 00:02:16,345 --> 00:02:20,515 And a jury decided that one night of pain was worth $200,000. 36 00:02:20,724 --> 00:02:22,684 - So there you go. - Whatever. 37 00:02:23,018 --> 00:02:25,270 Why are you being so nuts to me lately? 38 00:02:25,562 --> 00:02:28,357 You refuse to move on to the next phase. 39 00:02:28,565 --> 00:02:30,400 I'd like to have a family someday. 40 00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:33,362 I need someone I can rely on, not a playmate. 41 00:02:33,737 --> 00:02:36,907 You need a father figure? "Stop pulling your sister's hair!" 42 00:02:37,532 --> 00:02:40,827 You know what? I'm gonna go to Syracuse to see my mom. 43 00:02:41,912 --> 00:02:44,831 - I'll be back on Wednesday. - What are you talking about? 44 00:02:47,918 --> 00:02:52,047 I had call for delivery, but it was crank call. You want chocolate cake? 45 00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:54,800 Come back later. I'll Indian wrestle you. 46 00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:56,343 You're going down, sucker. 47 00:02:56,551 --> 00:02:57,594 We'll see about that. 48 00:02:57,803 --> 00:02:59,930 Okay. Peace, out. 49 00:03:00,389 --> 00:03:02,057 You're going to Syracuse? 50 00:03:02,265 --> 00:03:04,101 I need time to think and so do you. 51 00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:05,435 Think about what? 52 00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:08,313 Your life and why I should be a part of it. 53 00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:10,273 - All right. - While you're at it... 54 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:12,943 ...think about getting a real job. 55 00:03:13,110 --> 00:03:15,112 I got a real job! 56 00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:23,829 Patrick Ewing, nice shot. 57 00:03:24,621 --> 00:03:27,290 - Hey, Sonny. - What's up, buddy boy? 58 00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:29,584 I'm out the door. Hey, pal. 59 00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:32,337 - Where you going? - Manhattan. 60 00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:34,131 You wanna take me with you? 61 00:03:34,339 --> 00:03:36,591 All right, I guess. 62 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:38,635 Hold on to your money. Later on. 63 00:03:38,844 --> 00:03:40,345 Okay, take care, Sonny. 64 00:03:40,929 --> 00:03:41,972 See you. 65 00:03:42,597 --> 00:03:44,474 Cadillac, I love it. 66 00:04:04,661 --> 00:04:06,163 Surprise! 67 00:04:06,371 --> 00:04:08,081 Just ignore him. 68 00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:11,168 It's only Sonny. It's only Sonny. 69 00:04:11,501 --> 00:04:13,837 Yeah, it's only me. It's only me. 70 00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:17,632 - What's going on? - Corinne's going-away party for Kevin. 71 00:04:17,883 --> 00:04:20,677 She didn't tell me. The roommate has a right to know. 72 00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:23,180 She knew you'd ruin the surprise. 73 00:04:23,346 --> 00:04:24,389 No, I wouldn't. 74 00:04:27,017 --> 00:04:28,101 Hey, surprise. 75 00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:29,519 Surprise. 76 00:04:29,853 --> 00:04:31,855 - Surprise. - Surprise. 77 00:04:32,022 --> 00:04:33,106 What's going on? 78 00:04:37,194 --> 00:04:39,112 We wasted the good surprise on you. 79 00:04:39,404 --> 00:04:40,530 All right. 80 00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:49,206 Is this your handiwork? 81 00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:51,124 I guess. 82 00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:53,210 See you in three hours. 83 00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:55,962 Good to see you stiffs. What've you been doing? 84 00:04:56,171 --> 00:05:00,008 Last three weeks have been crazy. I've been in Denver, Dallas-- 85 00:05:00,217 --> 00:05:03,887 I'm sleeping in the office. We're going to trial on the fraud case. 86 00:05:04,054 --> 00:05:07,057 Honey, it was a great surprise. I was totally shocked. 87 00:05:07,224 --> 00:05:10,727 No, you weren't! And I worked so hard on this. 88 00:05:10,936 --> 00:05:12,229 Need some help? 89 00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:14,898 - Honey, your sister's here. - Hey, sweetie. 90 00:05:15,065 --> 00:05:17,067 I hate Sonny. 91 00:05:17,234 --> 00:05:21,029 My client's out $7 million. All we can sue on is breach of contract. 92 00:05:21,238 --> 00:05:24,574 Maybe you can sue under the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act. 93 00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:28,078 I gotta get back to the office. You're the king. 94 00:05:28,245 --> 00:05:29,746 Mikey, a pleasure. 95 00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:32,082 - I'll see you at home. - All right. 96 00:05:34,584 --> 00:05:35,961 I'll walk you out. 97 00:05:38,046 --> 00:05:41,007 I gotta admit, I'm still weirded out when they kiss. 98 00:05:41,216 --> 00:05:43,760 Why? They're gay. That's what gay guys do. 99 00:05:43,969 --> 00:05:47,764 I know, but they were like brothers to us back in school. 100 00:05:47,973 --> 00:05:51,351 They're still like our brothers. Our very, very gay brothers. 101 00:05:52,477 --> 00:05:55,522 What are you doing after this? Going to a Klan meeting? 102 00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:58,400 Remember when Dad had that barbecue... 103 00:05:58,567 --> 00:06:00,360 ...for his friends and it rained... 104 00:06:00,569 --> 00:06:02,779 ...50 he and Mom went into the kitchen and made... 105 00:06:02,988 --> 00:06:06,116 ...100 hamburgers with one frying pan? 106 00:06:06,783 --> 00:06:11,580 You're not gonna let a little rain stop you from making 100 hamburgers. 107 00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:28,221 That relationship's lasted longer than I thought it would. 108 00:06:28,597 --> 00:06:31,766 Look at his eyes. He's bored. I give it two more weeks. 109 00:06:31,975 --> 00:06:34,394 Hey, excuse me. Everybody! 110 00:06:35,270 --> 00:06:38,315 I'm sorry. I wanted to thank you for coming tonight. 111 00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:39,733 I guess I should say-- 112 00:06:42,986 --> 00:06:45,780 I'm getting it. Tomorrow I'm leaving for China... 113 00:06:45,947 --> 00:06:48,575 ...to represent the firm of Morton and Mandel. 114 00:06:48,783 --> 00:06:52,621 Me, the same guy who once shaved his ass to win a $5 bet. 115 00:06:53,288 --> 00:06:54,831 Prove it! 116 00:06:57,042 --> 00:06:58,168 Just kidding. 117 00:06:58,543 --> 00:07:01,838 But I am real glad you're all here tonight, because... 118 00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:05,008 ...I'm gonna do what I never thought I'd have the guts to do. 119 00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:07,302 You're not proposing, are you? 120 00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:14,476 - Yeah, pal, I am. - Well, think about it, you know? 121 00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:16,186 God, Sonny, shut up! 122 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:23,526 Anyway, will you? 123 00:07:24,486 --> 00:07:25,695 Yeah. 124 00:07:28,323 --> 00:07:30,075 Good call on the two weeks. 125 00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:41,461 Sonny, what was that all about? 126 00:07:41,670 --> 00:07:45,006 Congratulations. You and Big Boobs McGee are gonna be happy. 127 00:07:45,215 --> 00:07:46,633 Don't call her that. 128 00:07:46,841 --> 00:07:51,096 You wanna tell your children you met their mother as a waitress at Hooters? 129 00:07:51,388 --> 00:07:54,391 Sonny, that was five years ago. She's a doctor now... 130 00:07:54,599 --> 00:07:56,685 ...and my fiancée, so from now on... 131 00:07:56,893 --> 00:07:58,561 ...Dr. Big Boobs McGee. 132 00:07:58,728 --> 00:08:01,064 - Congratulations. - Thanks, man. 133 00:08:01,231 --> 00:08:02,983 I just... 134 00:08:03,733 --> 00:08:05,402 ...got shit going on. 135 00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:06,736 What's the matter? 136 00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:09,322 Vanessa's gonna break up with me... 137 00:08:09,531 --> 00:08:12,117 ...and I don't know how to make her wanna stay. 138 00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:14,703 She's getting older. She wants different things. 139 00:08:14,911 --> 00:08:17,914 Career, stable relationship, a family. 140 00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:19,332 That's how they get. 141 00:08:19,541 --> 00:08:22,502 I want things to go back to the way they used to be. 142 00:08:22,711 --> 00:08:25,255 When we were at Syracuse, and Vanessa worshiped you. 143 00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:28,091 - That was nice. - Nobody hassled you to get a job. 144 00:08:28,299 --> 00:08:30,135 Tommy and Phil showered separately. 145 00:08:31,594 --> 00:08:32,762 Those were the days. 146 00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:35,348 - What're you doing? - If I make this... 147 00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:37,892 ...Vanessa will realize she likes me the way I am. 148 00:08:38,101 --> 00:08:39,477 You're going to the putt. 149 00:08:39,811 --> 00:08:41,896 Remember, the roof breaks to the right. 150 00:08:44,232 --> 00:08:46,234 Yes! That's what I'm talk-- 151 00:08:46,401 --> 00:08:47,736 Good God! 152 00:08:47,944 --> 00:08:49,320 That can't be good. 153 00:08:54,659 --> 00:08:55,910 Where's Kevin? 154 00:08:56,202 --> 00:09:00,248 He already left. I guess he forgot to say goodbye to you. 155 00:09:00,457 --> 00:09:03,752 - Why are you here? - I'm cleaning because you're useless. 156 00:09:03,918 --> 00:09:06,629 Then what, you gonna go to your Hooters reunion? 157 00:09:06,838 --> 00:09:10,341 You guys talk about whose ass hangs out of their shorts the most? 158 00:09:10,759 --> 00:09:13,219 At least I can fit my ass in my shorts, fatty. 159 00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:15,305 Speaking of fatty, whose is this? 160 00:09:15,513 --> 00:09:17,932 - I don't know. - I'm eating it then. 161 00:09:19,142 --> 00:09:21,519 "We wasted the good surprise on you." 162 00:09:24,439 --> 00:09:25,482 Yeah? 163 00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:27,442 Lady gave me $5 to bring him here. 164 00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:29,277 - What do you mean? - Later. 165 00:09:30,153 --> 00:09:31,946 Are you selling raffle tickets? 166 00:09:39,162 --> 00:09:40,413 Oh, boy. 167 00:09:43,166 --> 00:09:45,877 - Kevin Gerrity. - I got something to tell you. 168 00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:48,171 - What's up? - There's a kid here. 169 00:09:48,338 --> 00:09:49,422 What kind of kid? 170 00:09:49,672 --> 00:09:51,883 If this note is true, it's your Kid. 171 00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:53,343 What do you mean? 172 00:09:55,178 --> 00:09:57,263 I'm having a tough time reading this... 173 00:09:57,472 --> 00:10:00,558 ...but it says, "Dear Kevin: This is Julian, your son. 174 00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:03,478 I hope you understand why I didn't tell you until now... 175 00:10:03,686 --> 00:10:07,357 ...but he needs your help. I can't be his mother anymore." 176 00:10:07,565 --> 00:10:09,317 - This is ridiculous. - Hang on. 177 00:10:10,318 --> 00:10:11,694 Who's this? 178 00:10:12,195 --> 00:10:14,197 This is my friend. 179 00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:18,701 - Is that Kevin on the phone? - No, it's my Uncle Remus. 180 00:10:20,328 --> 00:10:22,539 Hi. What's your name? 181 00:10:23,081 --> 00:10:24,124 Is he all right? 182 00:10:24,374 --> 00:10:26,251 He doesn't like you. Leave us alone. 183 00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:27,877 You're such a dick. 184 00:10:28,086 --> 00:10:30,964 That was your girlfriend. She was acting "Hooterific." 185 00:10:31,381 --> 00:10:33,967 - Who sent that note? "Jan M 186 00:10:34,217 --> 00:10:37,220 Jan... I don't know any Jan. 187 00:10:37,428 --> 00:10:39,389 - Where's he from? - Where are you from? 188 00:10:39,556 --> 00:10:40,598 Buffalo. 189 00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:42,892 I've never even been to Buffalo. 190 00:10:43,101 --> 00:10:44,769 Maybe it's a mistake. 191 00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:47,939 Is this like the time you said my parents were dead? 192 00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:49,774 I swear, he's right here. 193 00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:53,236 I'm coming home. I don't know what I'll say-- 194 00:10:53,444 --> 00:10:54,612 Hang on. It says... 195 00:10:54,863 --> 00:10:59,075 ..."If you won't take responsibility for him, they found a foster family--" 196 00:10:59,284 --> 00:11:02,412 Yes, Uncle Remus, I know the catfish are huge. 197 00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:03,788 That's terrific. 198 00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,166 Here's a number for a guy... 199 00:11:06,416 --> 00:11:09,169 ...at City Social Service. Arthur Brooks. I'll call. 200 00:11:09,419 --> 00:11:11,462 - I'll come home. - I'll take care of it. 201 00:11:11,629 --> 00:11:12,672 Are you sure? 202 00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:14,007 Yeah, don't worry. 203 00:11:15,925 --> 00:11:17,302 Hooters. Hooters. Hooters! 204 00:11:17,635 --> 00:11:19,679 - All right. Thanks a lot. - Later. 205 00:11:22,765 --> 00:11:24,767 I'm gonna make another phone call. 206 00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:27,520 You want to come and sit down, pal? 207 00:11:30,398 --> 00:11:35,028 Or you can stand there. Anything you want. I'll be a minute. 208 00:11:37,405 --> 00:11:40,116 Social Services is closed today, Columbus Day. 209 00:11:40,408 --> 00:11:42,702 We'll be open tomorrow at 8 a.m. 210 00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:45,121 Columbus Day. 211 00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:49,125 Boy, I don't know what to tell you. 212 00:11:49,334 --> 00:11:51,711 Everything's gonna get figured out tomorrow. 213 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:54,339 Can you be a tough little guy until then? 214 00:11:55,298 --> 00:11:56,299 Great. 215 00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:59,552 Do I need to get you a bottle of formula or something? 216 00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:02,055 - No. - What do you eat? 217 00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:03,556 Food. 218 00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:05,975 Yeah? I eat food too. 219 00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:08,353 What--? Come on. 220 00:12:11,522 --> 00:12:13,149 You need me to hold your hand? 221 00:12:13,441 --> 00:12:17,403 On Mondays, I go to Central Park and watch rollerbladers fall down. 222 00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:19,739 - You into that? - I don't know. 223 00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,325 Watch. This guy's humming. 224 00:12:22,533 --> 00:12:25,703 He's going down, he's going down, he's going--! 225 00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:29,415 How old are you, anyways? 226 00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:31,709 - Five. - Five? 227 00:12:32,043 --> 00:12:33,586 You wear a diaper? 228 00:12:33,795 --> 00:12:35,255 No. 229 00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:38,508 - You wipe your own ass then? - Yes. 230 00:12:38,716 --> 00:12:41,010 You do? Good job. That's cool. 231 00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:44,847 Come on, fall down. Fall down. Yes! Come on, damn it. 232 00:12:45,056 --> 00:12:46,724 You suck. You suck! 233 00:12:47,892 --> 00:12:49,269 Check this out. 234 00:13:02,865 --> 00:13:04,033 My God! 235 00:13:04,242 --> 00:13:07,245 There's a stick there. Somebody should move it. 236 00:13:07,578 --> 00:13:10,665 All right now, what way would you put that on? 237 00:13:10,873 --> 00:13:13,376 This Columbo, he pretends to be stupid... 238 00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:15,420 ...but he's really smart as a tack. 239 00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:16,921 Oh, yeah, he is. 240 00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:21,092 You put the vane on down there. Then this boat comes up. 241 00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:23,386 I wipe my own ass. 242 00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:25,596 Me too. 243 00:13:28,057 --> 00:13:31,019 So, Mr. Ass Wiper, what's this guy's name? 244 00:13:31,394 --> 00:13:32,854 Scuba Steve. 245 00:13:33,021 --> 00:13:35,189 Does he ever take his flippers off? 246 00:13:35,940 --> 00:13:37,191 What if he goes bowling? 247 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:40,486 They don't make him wear bowling shoes? He wears flippers? 248 00:13:40,778 --> 00:13:43,948 - Really? - I had a doll like that at one time. 249 00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:46,784 But my cat, he bite his head off. 250 00:13:46,993 --> 00:13:48,369 What cat would do that? 251 00:13:48,536 --> 00:13:49,620 You calling me a liar? 252 00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:51,539 Hey, take it easy. 253 00:13:52,957 --> 00:13:54,083 Anyways... 254 00:13:54,292 --> 00:13:56,127 ...Jets are playing tonight. 255 00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:59,130 We're gonna go to the Blarney Stone. Wanna come? 256 00:13:59,464 --> 00:14:00,923 I've got more deliveries. 257 00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:03,718 Maybe you can also finish the turkey on your lip. 258 00:14:03,926 --> 00:14:05,178 Right there. 259 00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:11,893 Let's crank up the Styx. 260 00:14:12,101 --> 00:14:13,728 No music during the game. 261 00:14:13,936 --> 00:14:17,148 - It's halftime. Relax, Mr. Herlihy. - Goddamn Jets. 262 00:14:17,398 --> 00:14:19,317 What are you doing in here, cutie? 263 00:14:19,817 --> 00:14:21,444 Watching football. 264 00:14:21,652 --> 00:14:24,614 - Who do you want to win? - The goddamn Jets. 265 00:14:25,823 --> 00:14:27,533 Have fun. 266 00:14:28,659 --> 00:14:32,789 Too bad you don't like girls. I think you could've had her. 267 00:14:33,039 --> 00:14:35,333 - I'm thirsty. - You're thirsty? 268 00:14:35,583 --> 00:14:38,461 - Are you allowed soda? - I don't know. 269 00:14:38,628 --> 00:14:40,671 My mom always said soda rots your teeth... 270 00:14:40,838 --> 00:14:43,132 ...but you'll lose them anyway, so rot on. 271 00:14:43,674 --> 00:14:45,843 - Can we get two root beers? - Sure. 272 00:14:46,844 --> 00:14:51,182 When I graduated law school, we met here every Monday to watch football. 273 00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:53,976 Who would meet you? 274 00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:56,062 My friends, Vanessa. 275 00:14:56,604 --> 00:14:58,606 Vanessa always rooted against the team... 276 00:14:58,773 --> 00:15:00,817 ...I wanted to win just to bust my chops. 277 00:15:01,067 --> 00:15:04,612 But everybody's so busy with their crap lately, no one comes. 278 00:15:04,821 --> 00:15:06,656 Like I'm not busy? 279 00:15:06,989 --> 00:15:10,451 Shut up or I'll smack you through the wall like last Monday. 280 00:15:10,660 --> 00:15:13,830 Last Monday was a fluke. Bring it on, woman. 281 00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:19,127 Anytime. 282 00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:22,505 He drinks a lot of soda. 283 00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:31,055 I'm telling you, buddy. Vanessa, she's the one. I can't lose her. 284 00:15:31,222 --> 00:15:33,057 I'm not getting any handsomer. 285 00:15:33,224 --> 00:15:36,978 Every day I get a little bit older and balder and fatter. 286 00:15:37,186 --> 00:15:39,188 - Fatter? - At your age... 287 00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:41,649 ...I could eat anything. Wouldn't gain an ounce. 288 00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:45,486 Now, I have a chocolate shake, my ass jiggles for a week. 289 00:15:45,695 --> 00:15:49,532 - Enjoy the metabolism while you got it. - Metalobism? 290 00:15:50,908 --> 00:15:54,537 Good God, it's 2:30 in the morning. You must be wrecked. 291 00:15:55,037 --> 00:15:58,541 Anyways, I had fun today. Did you have fun? 292 00:15:59,250 --> 00:16:01,210 Yeah, you're all right. 293 00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:03,379 Have a good one. 294 00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:05,590 Sonny? 295 00:16:07,216 --> 00:16:09,218 Could I have a night-light? 296 00:16:09,427 --> 00:16:12,555 Night-light? I think I can help you out. Hang on. 297 00:16:21,898 --> 00:16:22,899 Let's see here. 298 00:16:24,859 --> 00:16:26,736 There you go, all right? 299 00:16:27,403 --> 00:16:28,404 Sonny? 300 00:16:29,947 --> 00:16:31,449 Are you my dad? 301 00:16:34,285 --> 00:16:36,120 No, I'm not, but... 302 00:16:36,287 --> 00:16:39,457 ...that Dad and Mom thing we'll figure out in the morning. 303 00:16:41,584 --> 00:16:43,419 You just go to sleep. 304 00:16:45,087 --> 00:16:47,465 - Good night. - Good night. 305 00:17:02,688 --> 00:17:04,440 Go get the can, okay? 306 00:17:04,607 --> 00:17:06,692 Go! Go! Go! 307 00:17:09,820 --> 00:17:11,989 I'm thinking about keeping the kid. 308 00:17:13,616 --> 00:17:14,951 Sonny. 309 00:17:15,117 --> 00:17:17,286 Remember when we went to the pet store... 310 00:17:17,495 --> 00:17:21,499 ...and you wanted that puppy, but I reminded you about feeding it... 311 00:17:21,791 --> 00:17:23,793 ...cleaning it and toilet training it? 312 00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:26,921 This is kind of like that, except with a human. 313 00:17:27,129 --> 00:17:30,508 I mean, I'm glad you had fun and all, but this is big. 314 00:17:30,716 --> 00:17:34,136 I gotta do something big. I think Vanessa will respect that. 315 00:17:34,303 --> 00:17:36,639 You think that since women get pregnant... 316 00:17:36,806 --> 00:17:38,808 ...to fix a troubled relationship... 317 00:17:39,016 --> 00:17:41,519 ...why can't a guy adopt a kid to do the same? 318 00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:45,356 I didn't think of it like that. But yes, that's what I'm thinking. 319 00:17:45,648 --> 00:17:49,026 Sounds nuts to me, pal. Do yourself a favor. Sleep on it. 320 00:17:49,277 --> 00:17:51,112 You're right. Can I use your phone? 321 00:17:57,493 --> 00:17:59,036 Arthur Brooks speaking. 322 00:17:59,328 --> 00:18:01,038 How you doing? Kevin Gerrity. 323 00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:02,665 Right on, Mr. Gerrity. 324 00:18:02,832 --> 00:18:04,166 We were expecting you. 325 00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:07,628 Do you still got a foster family lined up for Julian? 326 00:18:07,795 --> 00:18:08,838 Yes, we do. 327 00:18:09,005 --> 00:18:11,882 I've decided to take care of the little guy. 328 00:18:12,049 --> 00:18:13,843 Way to sleep on it, pal. 329 00:18:14,010 --> 00:18:16,846 You two want to get married, I support that. 330 00:18:17,013 --> 00:18:21,183 When parents take the responsibility, there's no bigger high for us. 331 00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:22,852 I'm psyched about it too. 332 00:18:23,019 --> 00:18:24,061 So that's it. 333 00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:26,272 Yep. Good luck to you and your son. 334 00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:28,774 My son. 335 00:18:33,279 --> 00:18:34,405 Goddamn stick! 336 00:18:34,572 --> 00:18:36,073 That's my boy. 337 00:18:47,043 --> 00:18:48,461 Hey. 338 00:18:50,296 --> 00:18:51,589 Go back to sleep. 339 00:18:53,883 --> 00:18:57,428 Well, I'm going back to sleep. Nighty-night. 340 00:18:58,054 --> 00:18:59,597 I wet my bed. 341 00:19:17,448 --> 00:19:19,367 Oh, God. 342 00:19:19,742 --> 00:19:22,119 That's a shitload of piss. 343 00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:26,624 Okay. 344 00:19:36,842 --> 00:19:38,594 There you go, all right? 345 00:19:38,844 --> 00:19:40,638 No more wet mess. 346 00:19:41,430 --> 00:19:45,101 Sleep, all right? Just try to sleep. Stay asleep. 347 00:20:17,007 --> 00:20:18,884 Sit still! 348 00:20:19,468 --> 00:20:20,511 Lay! 349 00:20:28,310 --> 00:20:29,770 All right! I'm up! 350 00:20:29,979 --> 00:20:33,482 It smells like urine in this joint. Good job. 351 00:20:34,483 --> 00:20:36,152 What're you doing there, boy? 352 00:20:36,402 --> 00:20:37,695 Making cereal. 353 00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:40,698 Oh, yeah? Why don't you pour me a bowl? 354 00:20:45,828 --> 00:20:47,830 Or don't pour me a bowl. Either way. 355 00:20:47,997 --> 00:20:50,833 I got it. I got it. 356 00:20:52,334 --> 00:20:53,836 We can fix this. 357 00:20:55,546 --> 00:20:57,548 It's not a big deal. 358 00:20:57,798 --> 00:20:59,425 Look. See? 359 00:20:59,633 --> 00:21:01,844 See how quick it goes away? 360 00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:04,054 Crybaby, come on. 361 00:21:04,513 --> 00:21:06,056 Don't worry about it, boy. 362 00:21:08,726 --> 00:21:10,936 Scuba Steve, damn you! 363 00:21:12,146 --> 00:21:14,648 You think that's funny, me getting hurt? 364 00:21:19,236 --> 00:21:23,032 There's a bright side to being up before 11: McDonald's breakfast. 365 00:21:23,199 --> 00:21:26,076 I haven't been up for that in 10 years. You wanna go? 366 00:21:27,453 --> 00:21:29,330 Tie your shoes, we'll go. Hurry. 367 00:21:30,456 --> 00:21:33,375 It's like 12 blocks from here, so tie quickly. 368 00:21:37,713 --> 00:21:39,465 Do you need help with that? 369 00:21:39,673 --> 00:21:41,258 I can do it. 370 00:21:43,052 --> 00:21:44,470 Let me do it. 371 00:21:47,765 --> 00:21:50,976 You loop it, you swoop it, and you pull. 372 00:21:51,185 --> 00:21:54,271 You loop it, you swoop it, you pull. 373 00:21:54,522 --> 00:21:56,482 Good. Let's go. We're in a hurry. 374 00:21:56,982 --> 00:21:58,776 It's different for your generation. 375 00:21:59,026 --> 00:22:01,737 You've always had McDonald's breakfast available. 376 00:22:01,904 --> 00:22:02,947 I have? 377 00:22:03,113 --> 00:22:06,242 When I was born, all we had were the burgers and fries. 378 00:22:06,492 --> 00:22:09,912 Maybe the fish sandwich. I'm not sure. I'll get back to you. 379 00:22:10,120 --> 00:22:11,413 What are you doing? 380 00:22:11,997 --> 00:22:13,916 Oh, yeah, the hand-holding thing. 381 00:22:15,084 --> 00:22:18,921 My dad took us to McDonald's the first morning they had breakfast. 382 00:22:19,129 --> 00:22:22,633 Everybody was baffled. "Are these sausages or hamburgers?" 383 00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:24,593 I have to go to the bathroom. 384 00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:26,929 We're gonna be there in a minute. 385 00:22:27,137 --> 00:22:28,639 I gotta go now. 386 00:22:28,806 --> 00:22:30,516 Didn't you pee enough in bed? 387 00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:34,520 We only got nine minutes to get there. 388 00:22:34,728 --> 00:22:37,773 But I gotta go to the bathroom. 389 00:22:38,023 --> 00:22:39,441 All right, let's go. 390 00:22:40,442 --> 00:22:42,611 Can my kid use the bathroom for a minute? 391 00:22:42,778 --> 00:22:43,779 Customers only. 392 00:22:44,029 --> 00:22:46,115 He's just a kid. We'll be in and out. 393 00:22:46,282 --> 00:22:47,658 That's not my problem. 394 00:22:47,908 --> 00:22:50,452 It's not your problem? All right. 395 00:22:50,744 --> 00:22:51,829 Come on. 396 00:22:54,331 --> 00:22:57,543 Here you are. Your waiter will be right with you. 397 00:22:59,044 --> 00:23:00,462 I can't do it. 398 00:23:00,671 --> 00:23:02,965 What do you mean, you can't do it? Just go. 399 00:23:03,299 --> 00:23:06,552 I'm scared. Could you do it too? 400 00:23:08,470 --> 00:23:09,638 All right. 401 00:23:12,558 --> 00:23:13,851 Here we go. 402 00:23:14,643 --> 00:23:16,103 And we're off. 403 00:23:18,272 --> 00:23:20,691 That's not too difficult, right? 404 00:23:21,066 --> 00:23:23,485 And we're both losing weight. 405 00:23:23,986 --> 00:23:27,114 Good job. We're gonna miss breakfast. Let's go. 406 00:23:27,323 --> 00:23:28,866 Put it away. 407 00:23:32,202 --> 00:23:35,497 - Thanks, anyways. - Sure thing. Anytime. 408 00:23:35,664 --> 00:23:37,333 Move your ass there, pee-boy. 409 00:23:37,583 --> 00:23:40,878 We only got five minutes, five minutes. Now four. 410 00:23:41,086 --> 00:23:43,339 Come on. We're almost there. 411 00:23:43,714 --> 00:23:46,592 Hey, mister. Why are you sitting on the ground? 412 00:23:46,967 --> 00:23:48,177 This is where I live. 413 00:23:48,344 --> 00:23:50,512 - We gotta get going. - Why? 414 00:23:50,846 --> 00:23:54,224 In retrospect, I made some bad choices after high school. 415 00:23:54,391 --> 00:23:56,310 - We gotta get going. - Why? 416 00:23:56,518 --> 00:23:59,021 This was during the so-called Disco Era... 417 00:23:59,188 --> 00:24:02,733 ...but for me, it was more the Doing Mushrooms Era. 418 00:24:02,900 --> 00:24:05,361 - We're gonna miss breakfast. - Why? 419 00:24:05,527 --> 00:24:06,862 I never thought about that. 420 00:24:07,029 --> 00:24:09,615 I was never Mr. Popularity in high school... 421 00:24:09,823 --> 00:24:12,368 ...and I watched Fantasia a lot. 422 00:24:12,618 --> 00:24:14,203 - One day it clicked. - Hey, yappy. 423 00:24:14,411 --> 00:24:16,705 If you end it, you get an Egg McMuffin. 424 00:24:16,914 --> 00:24:19,041 How about a Sausage McMuffin with hash browns? 425 00:24:19,208 --> 00:24:20,542 You got a deal. 426 00:24:22,127 --> 00:24:24,755 Look, look. He fell asleep. Let's go. 427 00:24:25,506 --> 00:24:26,548 Let's go. 428 00:24:30,427 --> 00:24:33,055 Sausage McMuffin. 429 00:24:33,263 --> 00:24:34,598 Pardon me, sir. 430 00:24:34,765 --> 00:24:36,058 How you doing? 431 00:24:36,225 --> 00:24:37,768 What can I get for you? 432 00:24:37,935 --> 00:24:39,895 - What do you want? - Cheerios. 433 00:24:40,062 --> 00:24:41,730 They don't got Cheerios. 434 00:24:42,564 --> 00:24:43,607 Lasagna. 435 00:24:43,774 --> 00:24:46,777 What's the matter? We'll take hotcakes and sausage. 436 00:24:47,027 --> 00:24:49,071 Sorry. We stopped serving breakfast. 437 00:24:49,279 --> 00:24:51,240 We're four seconds late. 438 00:24:51,448 --> 00:24:54,910 You're 30 minutes and four seconds late. Breakfast stops at 10:30. 439 00:24:55,077 --> 00:24:56,161 Horseshit! 440 00:24:59,665 --> 00:25:00,791 Don't cry. Sorry. 441 00:25:01,041 --> 00:25:02,918 I was cursing at the lady, not you. 442 00:25:03,252 --> 00:25:04,253 Nice parenting. 443 00:25:04,461 --> 00:25:06,964 Thanks. Are you my therapist? Take a walk. 444 00:25:07,214 --> 00:25:08,757 Do you want a Happy Meal? 445 00:25:08,966 --> 00:25:10,551 You got a Happy Meal? 446 00:25:10,759 --> 00:25:12,761 Will somebody get the kid a Happy Meal?! 447 00:25:13,303 --> 00:25:14,430 Relax. 448 00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:15,973 Where's my Egg McMuffin? 449 00:25:16,223 --> 00:25:18,142 Breakfast is over at 10:30. 450 00:25:18,308 --> 00:25:21,270 - Really? I thought it was 11. - I thought that too. 451 00:25:22,771 --> 00:25:24,565 Total mind blower. 452 00:25:24,773 --> 00:25:26,984 Will you just relax? Here. 453 00:25:27,234 --> 00:25:28,944 What do you want me to do? 454 00:25:29,194 --> 00:25:32,322 You're gonna meet Vanessa tonight. You'll like her. 455 00:25:32,698 --> 00:25:35,284 You wanna see me get hurt? That'll cheer you up? 456 00:25:36,118 --> 00:25:37,202 All right. 457 00:25:42,833 --> 00:25:44,710 You think that's funny? 458 00:25:46,003 --> 00:25:47,421 Good. No more crying. 459 00:25:47,588 --> 00:25:48,630 Are you okay? 460 00:25:48,964 --> 00:25:50,841 Next time, kill me. 461 00:26:06,982 --> 00:26:08,025 Let's do it, Rangers. 462 00:26:08,275 --> 00:26:10,778 - -Rangers against the Tampa Bay Lightning. 463 00:26:10,986 --> 00:26:12,321 And at this stage... 464 00:26:12,529 --> 00:26:16,366 ...It's as close as you can get to a must-win game for the Rangers. 465 00:26:16,533 --> 00:26:18,160 Or they'll fall behind-- 466 00:26:18,368 --> 00:26:20,329 - How you doing? - How you doing? 467 00:26:21,038 --> 00:26:23,248 - You like hockey? - You like hockey? 468 00:26:23,749 --> 00:26:25,375 This is a big, important game. 469 00:26:25,626 --> 00:26:27,252 This is a big, important game. 470 00:26:27,669 --> 00:26:30,047 - Cut the crap. - Cut the crap. 471 00:26:31,673 --> 00:26:33,050 I'm serious. Don't do that. 472 00:26:33,300 --> 00:26:35,010 I'm serious. Don't do that. 473 00:26:35,260 --> 00:26:37,054 How much wood would a woodchuck chuck... 474 00:26:37,262 --> 00:26:39,723 ...if a woodchuck could chuck wood? 475 00:26:39,890 --> 00:26:41,517 That's what I thought. Shut up. 476 00:26:43,393 --> 00:26:44,770 Don't you take naps? 477 00:26:44,978 --> 00:26:46,063 Sometimes. 478 00:26:46,271 --> 00:26:47,523 Go take a nap. 479 00:26:47,773 --> 00:26:49,691 I'm too hungry to sleep. 480 00:26:50,526 --> 00:26:52,277 You want some food? 481 00:27:05,290 --> 00:27:07,376 Having a kid is great... 482 00:27:07,709 --> 00:27:12,005 ...as long as his eyes are closed and he's not moving or speaking. 483 00:27:34,570 --> 00:27:36,405 He's taken down! Penalty shot! 484 00:27:42,244 --> 00:27:44,079 How you doing? You sleepwalking? 485 00:27:44,872 --> 00:27:46,915 Why don't you go back sleepy? Sleepy. 486 00:27:47,124 --> 00:27:48,750 Keep napping. What's this? 487 00:27:48,917 --> 00:27:49,960 Kangaroo song. 488 00:27:50,210 --> 00:27:53,881 That's terrific. And we'll watch this after the game, okay? 489 00:27:54,089 --> 00:27:57,426 But after my nap, I always watch the kangaroo song. 490 00:27:57,759 --> 00:28:01,597 It's overtime, and there's a penalty shot about to take place. 491 00:28:01,847 --> 00:28:02,890 It happens every 10 years-- 492 00:28:03,098 --> 00:28:05,100 Kangaroo song. Kangaroo song! 493 00:28:08,145 --> 00:28:10,731 All right! 494 00:28:11,732 --> 00:28:13,859 God! You were normal yesterday. 495 00:28:25,871 --> 00:28:27,664 I can't take this. Are you serious? 496 00:28:27,915 --> 00:28:29,416 Come and play 497 00:28:31,793 --> 00:28:33,587 What do you say? 498 00:28:33,795 --> 00:28:35,172 Douche-bag kangaroo. 499 00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:40,427 Are you all hopped out? 500 00:28:44,181 --> 00:28:46,683 I don't know what to do. Hopefully Vanessa will. 501 00:28:46,892 --> 00:28:50,312 I think she's back. If she's not back, we'll wait for her. 502 00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:52,022 Get your coat. Clean up. 503 00:28:53,690 --> 00:28:56,777 Oh, God. You don't have to pee, do you? 504 00:28:57,319 --> 00:28:59,446 - Do you swear? - I swear. 505 00:29:01,323 --> 00:29:02,658 How come you're not going? 506 00:29:02,824 --> 00:29:06,620 I don't have to go. Only you and my grandfather go every 30 seconds. 507 00:29:06,828 --> 00:29:09,706 Let's hurry it up, all right? I'm keeping you company. 508 00:29:11,667 --> 00:29:14,670 He'll write your name on the wall. Mind your business. 509 00:29:16,296 --> 00:29:18,423 Let's go. Let's go. 510 00:29:19,049 --> 00:29:21,510 Why do I need to meet this lady? 511 00:29:21,718 --> 00:29:23,971 - Now it is your problem. - Thank you. 512 00:29:24,179 --> 00:29:26,139 She's that lady I was telling you about. 513 00:29:26,348 --> 00:29:28,934 She's gonna be a big part of your life. 514 00:29:29,184 --> 00:29:32,187 I'm scared. What if she's not nice? 515 00:29:32,354 --> 00:29:33,647 Look. 516 00:29:34,189 --> 00:29:37,693 See these right here? These are magic sunglasses, okay? 517 00:29:37,943 --> 00:29:40,195 If you're afraid, put them on to become invisible. 518 00:29:40,445 --> 00:29:42,322 Really? Nobody can see me? 519 00:29:42,531 --> 00:29:43,699 Put them on. 520 00:29:47,828 --> 00:29:49,204 Sonny, I'm right here. 521 00:29:49,371 --> 00:29:51,456 Oh, the glasses. I couldn't see you. 522 00:29:51,665 --> 00:29:55,377 Keep those on. No one can notice you until you decide they can. 523 00:29:55,585 --> 00:29:57,254 - Okay. - Let's go. 524 00:30:00,507 --> 00:30:01,883 I'm still right here. 525 00:30:02,092 --> 00:30:04,261 Okay, all right, the glasses. 526 00:30:07,222 --> 00:30:09,016 - Hey. - Hi. 527 00:30:09,224 --> 00:30:10,350 Welcome back. 528 00:30:10,559 --> 00:30:14,021 - Who's that? - Who's who? He's invisible. 529 00:30:15,731 --> 00:30:18,233 - Can I come in? - Sure. 530 00:30:18,900 --> 00:30:20,902 Any invisible people out here... 531 00:30:21,111 --> 00:30:23,113 ...feel free to come in, okay? 532 00:30:25,741 --> 00:30:28,618 Sonny, I don't really know what's going on right now. 533 00:30:28,869 --> 00:30:31,872 - We should talk-- - You said I got some thinking to do? 534 00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:33,415 So I did it. 535 00:30:33,582 --> 00:30:37,419 Just because I don't have a job doesn't mean I don't wanna move on. 536 00:30:37,586 --> 00:30:39,921 Instead of saying that, I figured I'd show you. 537 00:30:40,130 --> 00:30:42,549 - Before you say anything-- - Look at that. 538 00:30:42,758 --> 00:30:44,259 He took his sunglasses off. 539 00:30:44,426 --> 00:30:46,553 He wants you to see him. He likes you. 540 00:30:47,095 --> 00:30:48,138 Julian, come here. 541 00:30:49,431 --> 00:30:50,932 Come here, pal. 542 00:30:51,224 --> 00:30:52,601 Vanessa... 543 00:30:52,768 --> 00:30:55,771 ...I want you to meet Julian, my son. 544 00:30:56,772 --> 00:30:58,315 Our son. I adopted him. 545 00:30:59,775 --> 00:31:01,610 I don't know what to say. 546 00:31:01,818 --> 00:31:03,153 Don't say anything. 547 00:31:06,782 --> 00:31:08,116 Is someone in the bathroom? 548 00:31:10,452 --> 00:31:11,536 Why is the door shut? 549 00:31:11,745 --> 00:31:14,081 - I don't know. - You don't? 550 00:31:15,749 --> 00:31:18,502 - I don't know. - Sonny. 551 00:31:20,837 --> 00:31:22,172 I can't believe this. 552 00:31:23,131 --> 00:31:25,967 - Hey. Open up. - Sonny. 553 00:31:26,134 --> 00:31:29,346 Hello. Open the door! 554 00:31:30,305 --> 00:31:33,558 - Is everything okay? - Oh, my God. 555 00:31:34,059 --> 00:31:36,061 I'm sorry. I was freaking out there. 556 00:31:36,269 --> 00:31:37,854 - I'm Sonny. - Sid. 557 00:31:38,105 --> 00:31:42,067 I had an attack of paranoia. I thought you were sleeping with my girl. 558 00:31:42,275 --> 00:31:43,652 I am. 559 00:31:43,860 --> 00:31:45,612 What's that? 560 00:31:46,196 --> 00:31:47,322 I am. 561 00:31:47,572 --> 00:31:50,992 That's what I was trying to tell you before. I found someone. 562 00:31:51,201 --> 00:31:53,161 - This old guy? - Sid. 563 00:31:53,328 --> 00:31:55,163 He's already achieved so much... 564 00:31:55,372 --> 00:31:58,333 ...and yet he's still goal-oriented and still focused. 565 00:31:58,583 --> 00:32:00,085 And he has a five-year plan. 566 00:32:00,293 --> 00:32:01,795 What is it? "Don't die"? 567 00:32:02,671 --> 00:32:06,842 I can't believe this. We got a family now. This is what you wanted. 568 00:32:07,008 --> 00:32:09,845 You surprising me with a kid that you adopted... 569 00:32:10,011 --> 00:32:12,347 - ...wasn't what I wanted. - I did this for you. 570 00:32:12,597 --> 00:32:14,808 You wanted me to be more responsible. 571 00:32:14,975 --> 00:32:16,476 I can't raise this kid alone. 572 00:32:16,685 --> 00:32:20,021 You remind me of my grandson. You don't think things through. 573 00:32:20,230 --> 00:32:23,108 Hey, Old Man River, zip it or I'll break your hip. 574 00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:25,402 - I'd like to see you try it. - Shut up. 575 00:32:25,610 --> 00:32:28,196 How'd you misconstrue the situation so badly? 576 00:32:28,405 --> 00:32:30,115 I don't know. 577 00:32:31,408 --> 00:32:33,910 Deep down you must've known this day was coming. 578 00:32:35,370 --> 00:32:37,664 You made the biggest mistake of your life. 579 00:32:37,873 --> 00:32:40,041 I know you'll be missing me when you got... 580 00:32:40,250 --> 00:32:42,586 ...that big, white, wrinkly... 581 00:32:42,752 --> 00:32:44,337 ...body on top of you... 582 00:32:44,546 --> 00:32:46,381 ...with his loose skin... 583 00:32:46,631 --> 00:32:48,425 ...and old balls. 584 00:32:48,633 --> 00:32:50,260 Gross. 585 00:32:57,934 --> 00:33:01,188 Excuse me. How you doing? I'm Kevin Gerrity. 586 00:33:01,396 --> 00:33:04,191 I got an emergency problem. Is Arthur Brooks around? 587 00:33:04,399 --> 00:33:05,901 I'll go get him for you. 588 00:33:06,067 --> 00:33:09,279 Stay where I can see you. I gotta talk to this guy. 589 00:33:09,446 --> 00:33:10,947 Mr. Gerrity? 590 00:33:11,364 --> 00:33:13,074 - Arthur Brooks. - How are you? 591 00:33:13,241 --> 00:33:14,576 I need to speak with you. 592 00:33:14,784 --> 00:33:16,870 I didn't tell you to come here, did 17? 593 00:33:17,078 --> 00:33:19,122 I was gonna mail you the paperwork. 594 00:33:19,289 --> 00:33:21,249 It's like the opposite of that. 595 00:33:21,708 --> 00:33:23,668 Look, I can't manage this kid. 596 00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:26,796 I ain't a good father. I made a big mistake. 597 00:33:27,172 --> 00:33:30,592 - Mistake? - I had a mother lined up for him... 598 00:33:30,800 --> 00:33:33,470 ...but she's banging the Pepperidge Farm guy. 599 00:33:33,678 --> 00:33:35,931 The kid won't stop peeing and throwing up. 600 00:33:36,097 --> 00:33:38,808 He's like a cocker spaniel. I just.... 601 00:33:39,059 --> 00:33:41,311 He'd be better off with his natural mother. 602 00:33:42,103 --> 00:33:44,940 Well, she passed away last night, Mr. Gerrity. 603 00:33:45,106 --> 00:33:47,275 She had cancer. She must have sensed... 604 00:33:47,442 --> 00:33:49,486 ...that her time was running short. 605 00:33:49,778 --> 00:33:52,447 She wanted her son to be with the natural father. 606 00:33:55,408 --> 00:33:56,701 Loop. 607 00:33:57,285 --> 00:33:58,328 Pull. 608 00:33:59,287 --> 00:34:01,081 If you don't wanna take care of him... 609 00:34:01,289 --> 00:34:04,834 ...we'll take him. But he'll have to chill in a group home. 610 00:34:05,001 --> 00:34:06,795 Group home? Like an orphanage? 611 00:34:06,962 --> 00:34:08,463 We don't call them that. 612 00:34:11,299 --> 00:34:14,302 Look, I did it. Loop, swoop and pull. 613 00:34:14,469 --> 00:34:15,512 You did do it. 614 00:34:15,720 --> 00:34:17,138 Congratulations, kid. 615 00:34:17,305 --> 00:34:18,974 I showed him that. 616 00:34:19,140 --> 00:34:21,601 Why don't you go back over there, okay? 617 00:34:22,477 --> 00:34:25,146 - I'll call the Heatherton Home-- - Let's do this. 618 00:34:25,313 --> 00:34:28,775 I'll hang on to the kid until you find him a new family. 619 00:34:28,984 --> 00:34:32,320 I don't know. I gotta watch out for the kid's best interest. 620 00:34:32,529 --> 00:34:34,823 You said yourself you were a bogus dad. 621 00:34:34,990 --> 00:34:37,200 He's better off with me than in an orphanage. 622 00:34:37,367 --> 00:34:40,203 I don't wanna put him in a home any more than you do. 623 00:34:40,370 --> 00:34:43,248 Why don't we pretend you didn't even come in here? 624 00:34:43,456 --> 00:34:46,376 I'll give you a shout when I line up a family. 625 00:34:46,543 --> 00:34:47,836 - That's good. - Later. 626 00:34:48,044 --> 00:34:49,879 Just don't make me regret this. 627 00:34:50,630 --> 00:34:52,132 Where are we going now? 628 00:34:52,340 --> 00:34:56,511 I gotta make a phone call. Just stay right here, all right? 629 00:35:01,891 --> 00:35:04,519 - This is a collect call from: - Your baby boy. 630 00:35:04,769 --> 00:35:07,689 - To accept charges, say, "Yes." - Yeah, I'll accept. 631 00:35:07,856 --> 00:35:09,858 Dad, how's it going? How's Florida? 632 00:35:10,191 --> 00:35:13,653 Not too bad. Your mother got a sunburn playing tennis. 633 00:35:13,862 --> 00:35:16,823 - l got some interesting news. - Oh, yeah? What? 634 00:35:17,032 --> 00:35:18,742 Kind of adopted a kid. 635 00:35:18,908 --> 00:35:20,076 What do you mean? 636 00:35:20,327 --> 00:35:23,246 I'm talking about you being a grandfather. 637 00:35:23,413 --> 00:35:25,290 Who the hell would give you a kid? 638 00:35:25,498 --> 00:35:26,916 Social Services. 639 00:35:27,083 --> 00:35:29,502 You idiot. You better give that kid back. 640 00:35:29,711 --> 00:35:31,338 His mother's.... 641 00:35:31,588 --> 00:35:32,797 Hang on. 642 00:35:33,006 --> 00:35:35,008 Go play with them pigeons, buddy. 643 00:35:35,342 --> 00:35:38,428 I tried to give him back. I just can't. All right? 644 00:35:38,678 --> 00:35:40,096 I need your help. 645 00:35:40,388 --> 00:35:44,017 I'm in a bad way. Vanessa dumped me. I don't know what I'm doing. 646 00:35:44,225 --> 00:35:46,019 You're damn right. 647 00:35:46,227 --> 00:35:48,021 The kid is always around. 648 00:35:48,229 --> 00:35:50,398 He never leaves me alone. 649 00:35:50,565 --> 00:35:53,860 You'd think he'd want some privacy. I'm in deep shit. 650 00:35:54,069 --> 00:35:56,905 Give that kid back before you ruin both your lives. 651 00:35:57,072 --> 00:35:58,323 I appreciate that. 652 00:35:58,531 --> 00:36:00,617 He's better off living in a dumpster. 653 00:36:00,867 --> 00:36:02,577 I'll be a better father than you! 654 00:36:02,744 --> 00:36:05,080 Impossible! All you care about is yourself! 655 00:36:05,246 --> 00:36:08,708 Yeah? No, I care about you saving money on this call! 656 00:36:14,089 --> 00:36:15,423 Let's eat. 657 00:36:16,925 --> 00:36:18,968 The Vanessa thing did not work out. 658 00:36:19,219 --> 00:36:22,097 She lost her damn mind. That wasn't your fault, though, okay? 659 00:36:22,263 --> 00:36:23,932 Okay. 660 00:36:24,557 --> 00:36:26,142 I know when you first got here... 661 00:36:26,351 --> 00:36:28,603 ...you thought you were gonna meet your dad. 662 00:36:28,853 --> 00:36:31,147 But I don't think that's gonna happen. 663 00:36:31,398 --> 00:36:33,775 - Why? - I don't know. 664 00:36:34,234 --> 00:36:36,945 But, buddy, real dads aren't always that great. 665 00:36:37,153 --> 00:36:39,114 I got one and he's out of his mind. 666 00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:43,159 He tells me what to do. He never lets me figure stuff out on my own. 667 00:36:43,368 --> 00:36:46,621 A lot of dads are like that. That's why people grow up nuts. 668 00:36:47,455 --> 00:36:48,873 Look at this guy. 669 00:36:49,082 --> 00:36:52,919 He was probably a nice boy like you. Then his dad messed his mind up. 670 00:36:53,128 --> 00:36:54,629 Who won the Jets game? 671 00:36:54,796 --> 00:36:55,839 Who cares? 672 00:36:56,005 --> 00:36:58,299 Let it go. He can't control you anymore. 673 00:36:58,466 --> 00:36:59,509 What do you mean? 674 00:36:59,801 --> 00:37:02,011 - You know. - You're a loser. 675 00:37:02,303 --> 00:37:04,889 You're mad at your dad, not at me! I forgive you! 676 00:37:05,390 --> 00:37:08,017 I am. I am. I hate my father. 677 00:37:08,393 --> 00:37:11,938 I don't want it to be like that. I don't wanna control you. 678 00:37:12,313 --> 00:37:15,316 - You even like your name? - l guess. 679 00:37:15,525 --> 00:37:17,694 You guess? Shouldn't you like your name? 680 00:37:17,902 --> 00:37:20,488 It'll be your name the rest of your life. 681 00:37:20,697 --> 00:37:21,948 What do you want? 682 00:37:24,033 --> 00:37:25,618 Frankenstein. 683 00:37:25,827 --> 00:37:29,038 I can deal with that. I'll call you Frankenstein. 684 00:37:29,289 --> 00:37:31,332 Frankenstein, you gonna play in the puddle? 685 00:37:31,499 --> 00:37:34,794 Go ahead. From now on, you do whatever you wanna do. 686 00:37:35,003 --> 00:37:37,338 I'll show you some cool shit along the way. 687 00:37:37,505 --> 00:37:39,132 That's what it's all about. 688 00:37:41,009 --> 00:37:43,178 Stay in front of it. Don't be scared. 689 00:37:43,344 --> 00:37:45,221 It's coming right at you. 690 00:37:45,722 --> 00:37:46,806 Okay. All right. 691 00:37:47,015 --> 00:37:49,434 You're picking your head up. Don't do that. 692 00:37:50,935 --> 00:37:52,562 Is this okay? 693 00:37:52,729 --> 00:37:54,564 That's what you wanna wear? 694 00:37:55,523 --> 00:37:56,941 That's okay with me then. 695 00:37:57,150 --> 00:37:59,652 Good luck walking down the street. 696 00:38:01,362 --> 00:38:03,072 Way to block it. Stay with it. 697 00:38:03,239 --> 00:38:05,450 You're the next Willie Randolph. 698 00:38:15,460 --> 00:38:18,338 Chief Jay Strongbow used to do a sleeper hold. 699 00:38:18,546 --> 00:38:19,756 Put your arm under here. 700 00:38:19,964 --> 00:38:24,385 Lift this arm, okay? Slide under and try to lock wrists. 701 00:38:24,552 --> 00:38:26,095 Let me show you. Watch. 702 00:38:26,346 --> 00:38:28,890 Throw him into the ropes and he comes back.... 703 00:38:29,724 --> 00:38:32,060 Get him. Get him. Lock him up. 704 00:38:32,268 --> 00:38:33,686 Lock wrists. 705 00:38:34,062 --> 00:38:35,605 You bring him down slow. 706 00:38:36,105 --> 00:38:37,565 Apply pressure. 707 00:38:37,774 --> 00:38:39,400 He's going to sleep now. 708 00:38:42,237 --> 00:38:44,072 See, he's out. 709 00:38:54,499 --> 00:38:55,625 Wake up. 710 00:39:01,631 --> 00:39:04,592 You'll be the only kid your age with a slingshot. 711 00:39:05,051 --> 00:39:08,429 Go have some fun. Shoot a few beer cans or something. 712 00:39:12,141 --> 00:39:13,434 You like that? 713 00:39:18,523 --> 00:39:19,983 Sonny, Sonny, come here! 714 00:39:20,149 --> 00:39:22,151 What is it? What's the matter? 715 00:39:28,074 --> 00:39:29,659 Let me have that. 716 00:39:30,743 --> 00:39:33,663 Go to your room. I think. Or do whatever you want. 717 00:39:34,664 --> 00:39:36,833 It's gonna be fun. You nervous? 718 00:39:37,041 --> 00:39:39,294 No? You're excited, aren't you? 719 00:39:39,544 --> 00:39:42,046 Let's go. Up, up, up. 720 00:39:43,548 --> 00:39:45,550 Here comes some candy. 721 00:39:48,303 --> 00:39:50,138 How you doing? 722 00:39:50,638 --> 00:39:53,099 Happy Halloween! We got a first-timer. 723 00:39:57,645 --> 00:39:59,063 Do the right thing, buddy. 724 00:39:59,272 --> 00:40:01,441 We want some candy! 725 00:40:05,945 --> 00:40:08,448 Hang on right here for a second. Don't move. 726 00:40:23,171 --> 00:40:24,672 Yeah, that's it. 727 00:40:26,090 --> 00:40:28,009 Yeah, CDs. You like that? 728 00:40:29,385 --> 00:40:31,888 He's not happy. What else you got? 729 00:40:34,098 --> 00:40:36,100 Okay, that's good. Trick-or-treat. 730 00:40:38,394 --> 00:40:40,396 - Say, "Happy Halloween." - Happy Halloween. 731 00:40:40,647 --> 00:40:42,649 Thank you. 732 00:40:42,899 --> 00:40:45,401 Next year, be prepared, moron. 733 00:40:48,738 --> 00:40:50,365 What's with the cummerbund? 734 00:40:50,615 --> 00:40:52,367 I let him wear whatever he wants. 735 00:40:52,617 --> 00:40:54,077 Those boots are the best. 736 00:40:54,243 --> 00:40:56,120 I think they're Kevin's. 737 00:40:56,412 --> 00:40:59,707 I'll have a hot dog with the mustard and a knish. 738 00:40:59,874 --> 00:41:01,417 Frankenstein, what do you want? 739 00:41:01,668 --> 00:41:03,127 Thirty packets of ketchup. 740 00:41:03,336 --> 00:41:05,713 All right. Thirty packets of ketchup. 741 00:41:07,423 --> 00:41:08,633 Nice cut, pal. 742 00:41:10,718 --> 00:41:11,719 Frankenstein. 743 00:41:12,136 --> 00:41:14,514 Do that thing I taught you the other day. 744 00:41:21,145 --> 00:41:24,440 It took him 20 minutes to learn that. He's quick. He's smart. 745 00:41:24,649 --> 00:41:26,693 - And he loves ketchup. - He does. 746 00:41:26,901 --> 00:41:29,278 This is a whole new school of child raising. 747 00:41:29,529 --> 00:41:32,907 You give him options, not orders. Let him make the decision. 748 00:41:33,074 --> 00:41:34,283 You're a pioneer. 749 00:41:34,450 --> 00:41:37,453 - So you two just chill out all day? - Basically. 750 00:41:37,704 --> 00:41:41,124 Hung out on the monkey bars. The kid did eight chin-ups. 751 00:41:41,290 --> 00:41:43,793 I can't even do one with these scrawny arms. 752 00:41:44,043 --> 00:41:46,170 They're not scrawny. They're nice. 753 00:41:47,088 --> 00:41:49,257 What do you wanna do tomorrow? 754 00:41:49,424 --> 00:41:51,175 I wanna go to school. 755 00:41:51,384 --> 00:41:54,804 I don't force him, he makes the right decision. Way to go. 756 00:41:54,971 --> 00:41:57,807 We'll enroll you on Monday. Enjoy the weekend. 757 00:41:57,974 --> 00:41:59,267 Do the thing again. 758 00:42:06,816 --> 00:42:09,694 That one touched the ground. 759 00:42:09,902 --> 00:42:10,987 That was awesome! 760 00:42:11,237 --> 00:42:12,572 Good job. 761 00:42:16,242 --> 00:42:19,328 Help me! Help me! 762 00:42:20,079 --> 00:42:22,498 Please help me. I don't know where I live. 763 00:42:22,749 --> 00:42:25,001 This isn't a big problem. 764 00:42:25,209 --> 00:42:27,420 We'll find your parents. 765 00:42:27,712 --> 00:42:29,922 - What's your name? - Frankenstein. 766 00:42:30,131 --> 00:42:32,133 - Frankenstein. Okay. - There you are. 767 00:42:32,341 --> 00:42:34,469 There you are. Are you okay, buddy? 768 00:42:35,470 --> 00:42:37,472 I turn my head and he disappeared. 769 00:42:37,638 --> 00:42:40,475 Don't you ever do that to me again. Don't do that. 770 00:42:40,933 --> 00:42:43,644 Thank you for being sweet to my little boy. 771 00:42:43,853 --> 00:42:46,522 - You're welcome, Sonny. - Sonny? 772 00:42:46,814 --> 00:42:49,984 I think my sister, Corinne, is engaged to your roommate. 773 00:42:50,151 --> 00:42:52,987 Your sister's Corinne? That sucks. 774 00:42:53,154 --> 00:42:55,990 Yeah, I'm up from D.C. I was at that party... 775 00:42:56,240 --> 00:42:58,826 ...where we wasted the good surprise on you. 776 00:42:58,993 --> 00:43:00,119 Sorry about that. 777 00:43:00,661 --> 00:43:02,371 So, what, you have a son now? 778 00:43:02,622 --> 00:43:05,500 I'm not his dad. I'm more of a father-figure type... 779 00:43:05,750 --> 00:43:08,544 ...until Social Services can get another family. 780 00:43:08,753 --> 00:43:10,838 At which point, you'll find a new way... 781 00:43:11,047 --> 00:43:13,883 ...fo initiate conversations with girls in the park. 782 00:43:14,133 --> 00:43:15,843 Yeah, that's correct. 783 00:43:16,552 --> 00:43:17,595 Hey! 784 00:43:19,180 --> 00:43:20,389 Good job, buddy! 785 00:43:20,765 --> 00:43:22,141 He's peeing on his own. 786 00:43:22,350 --> 00:43:23,976 Keep it flowing! That's it! 787 00:43:24,185 --> 00:43:26,270 Go! Go! 788 00:43:26,687 --> 00:43:29,273 So does Corinne's sister have a name? 789 00:43:29,774 --> 00:43:33,402 - It's Layla. - Layla? I like your song. 790 00:43:34,362 --> 00:43:35,655 Could you do me a favor? 791 00:43:35,863 --> 00:43:37,323 Could you hang out with me? 792 00:43:37,532 --> 00:43:40,201 He'll think he's a failure if he couldn't get me a date. 793 00:43:40,409 --> 00:43:41,577 I really can't. 794 00:43:42,787 --> 00:43:44,580 I have a ton of work to do. 795 00:43:44,789 --> 00:43:46,916 I see. Hang on a second. 796 00:43:47,083 --> 00:43:48,292 Come here. 797 00:43:52,380 --> 00:43:56,509 Layla, if you don't come over to Sonny's apartment tonight... 798 00:43:56,717 --> 00:43:59,512 ...there's a good chance I'll develop a stutter. 799 00:44:01,013 --> 00:44:04,100 P-P-P-Please don't do this to me. 800 00:44:04,725 --> 00:44:07,103 - That is so cheap. - What? 801 00:44:14,360 --> 00:44:16,571 So I'm working in a tollbooth now. 802 00:44:16,737 --> 00:44:19,115 I originally wanted to be a male model... 803 00:44:19,365 --> 00:44:22,577 ...but I'm not very good-looking, so that didn't work out. 804 00:44:22,743 --> 00:44:24,245 I'm sorry to hear that. 805 00:44:24,453 --> 00:44:26,205 I'm all right. I'm recovering. 806 00:44:26,414 --> 00:44:29,125 This is my favorite part of the song right here. 807 00:44:32,587 --> 00:44:34,755 Better keep it down low. The kid's gonna wake up. 808 00:44:34,922 --> 00:44:36,799 Sonny! 809 00:44:36,966 --> 00:44:38,467 Too late. 810 00:44:38,634 --> 00:44:40,761 Okay. Just hang out a little bit. 811 00:44:40,928 --> 00:44:43,723 I'll be right back. Don't go sneaking out. 812 00:44:45,474 --> 00:44:48,769 - What are you doing? - You forgot to say good night. 813 00:44:48,936 --> 00:44:50,104 What do you mean? 814 00:44:50,354 --> 00:44:52,940 I can't go to sleep until you say good night. 815 00:44:53,149 --> 00:44:55,776 I didn't know that. I'm sorry. Good night. 816 00:44:56,277 --> 00:44:57,945 Go to sleep now, all right? 817 00:44:58,112 --> 00:44:59,614 What'd we learn about girls? 818 00:44:59,780 --> 00:45:03,326 Initiating the conversation is half the battle. 819 00:45:03,492 --> 00:45:05,786 Bingo. Now sleep, okay? 820 00:45:13,169 --> 00:45:16,380 I gave him NyQuil. He should be out for the night. 821 00:45:16,923 --> 00:45:21,135 This is Styx. They've been my favorite band since I was 12. 822 00:45:21,302 --> 00:45:22,470 You're kidding me. 823 00:45:22,637 --> 00:45:25,389 No, I can't help it. I just love them. 824 00:45:25,598 --> 00:45:27,391 My friends make fun of me. 825 00:45:27,683 --> 00:45:31,103 My friends make fun of me too. I've seen them 25 times. 826 00:45:31,312 --> 00:45:34,023 Tommy Shaw, when I was 16, I was at the concert... 827 00:45:34,273 --> 00:45:36,484 ...and he reached down, pulled me on stage. 828 00:45:36,901 --> 00:45:40,029 - I1 did the robot voice for "Mr. Roboto." - Really? 829 00:45:40,321 --> 00:45:42,031 No, I made that up. I'm sorry. 830 00:45:42,198 --> 00:45:44,033 That would've been cool, right? 831 00:45:44,325 --> 00:45:46,202 My cousin's friends with their drummer... 832 00:45:46,410 --> 00:45:48,871 ...80 when they come to town, we go to dinner... 833 00:45:49,038 --> 00:45:51,290 ...and they tell us stories from the road. 834 00:45:51,499 --> 00:45:54,001 - Really? - No, I made that up again too. 835 00:45:54,168 --> 00:45:55,836 I'm sorry. 836 00:45:56,212 --> 00:45:59,799 You're not attracted to, like, 60-year-old guys, are you? 837 00:45:59,966 --> 00:46:03,552 - No. - Yeah, I don't like them either. 838 00:46:05,846 --> 00:46:07,932 I can't sleep. 839 00:46:09,058 --> 00:46:10,685 Okay. 840 00:46:11,227 --> 00:46:12,520 He can't sleep. 841 00:46:12,728 --> 00:46:16,816 So the rabbit ran across the street... 842 00:46:17,024 --> 00:46:20,152 ...because he thought he saw some carrots. 843 00:46:20,361 --> 00:46:22,571 But when he got across the street... 844 00:46:22,822 --> 00:46:25,741 ...it turned out they weren't carrots, they were peanuts. 845 00:46:25,992 --> 00:46:27,743 Peanuts? 846 00:46:29,036 --> 00:46:31,831 The peanuts belonged to a squirrel... 847 00:46:32,039 --> 00:46:35,376 ...who had taken them home from a baseball game. 848 00:46:35,543 --> 00:46:38,337 And then the rabbit thought to himself... 849 00:46:38,754 --> 00:46:40,840 ..."Carrots, peanuts, what's the difference?" 850 00:46:41,465 --> 00:46:44,385 So he asked the squirrel if he could have some. 851 00:46:44,593 --> 00:46:46,595 And the squirrel said, "Of course." 852 00:46:46,846 --> 00:46:50,891 And the rabbit was very happy to make such a nice new friend. 853 00:46:52,977 --> 00:46:54,937 And so was the squirrel. 854 00:46:55,104 --> 00:46:57,898 And the rabbit thought the squirrel had pretty hair. 855 00:46:58,607 --> 00:47:01,068 And nice eyes also. 856 00:47:01,986 --> 00:47:05,114 And the squirrel thought the rabbit was really nice too. 857 00:47:05,489 --> 00:47:09,076 And then, the rabbit worked up his courage... 858 00:47:09,243 --> 00:47:11,495 ...and asked the squirrel if he could have... 859 00:47:11,746 --> 00:47:14,498 ...just the littlest squirrel kiss. 860 00:47:15,291 --> 00:47:19,128 And the squirrel thought it just wasn't the right time... 861 00:47:19,295 --> 00:47:22,423 ...in her busy squirrel life to be kissing any rabbits... 862 00:47:22,631 --> 00:47:26,093 ...even though this particular rabbit was very sweet. 863 00:47:26,635 --> 00:47:28,929 And the rabbit got shut down, did he? 864 00:47:31,265 --> 00:47:35,478 That's all right. But he was still thinking maybe... 865 00:47:35,644 --> 00:47:38,564 ...Scuba Steve could get a squirrel kiss... 866 00:47:38,773 --> 00:47:40,816 ...80 somebody's getting some action. 867 00:47:47,782 --> 00:47:49,825 Good night, Scuba Steve. 868 00:47:50,618 --> 00:47:52,161 Good night, Frankenstein. 869 00:47:54,121 --> 00:47:55,414 Good night, Sonny. 870 00:47:55,623 --> 00:47:57,291 Good night, Layla. 871 00:48:00,461 --> 00:48:02,338 Don't get caught with any girls. 872 00:48:02,588 --> 00:48:04,632 It's your first day. Take it slow. 873 00:48:04,840 --> 00:48:07,802 I'll meet you after school at 2:30, right out front. 874 00:48:08,344 --> 00:48:09,595 You're not staying? 875 00:48:09,804 --> 00:48:12,306 No, I gotta go get you some more ketchup. 876 00:48:12,556 --> 00:48:14,141 I don't like these kids. 877 00:48:14,350 --> 00:48:17,353 I don't either, but shouldn't we give them a chance? 878 00:48:20,064 --> 00:48:21,315 How's this? 879 00:48:23,567 --> 00:48:25,986 Here are the magic sunglasses. 880 00:48:26,195 --> 00:48:29,073 You put them on if you feel scared, okay? 881 00:48:31,075 --> 00:48:32,201 I lost you. 882 00:48:32,368 --> 00:48:34,703 I don't know where you are. I'm sorry. 883 00:48:35,996 --> 00:48:37,331 Oh, there you go. 884 00:48:38,791 --> 00:48:41,085 You go inside and make some friends. 885 00:48:42,086 --> 00:48:43,879 Oh, yeah, that's a good hug. 886 00:48:44,088 --> 00:48:46,882 All right. Go inside. I'm gonna miss you. 887 00:48:50,469 --> 00:48:52,388 Hi, I like your hat. 888 00:48:52,638 --> 00:48:54,181 What's your name? 889 00:49:06,235 --> 00:49:08,612 - Might as well-- - Leave a message! 890 00:49:10,030 --> 00:49:12,158 - Might as well-- - Leave a message! 891 00:49:12,366 --> 00:49:16,871 Mr. Gerrity, this is Arthur Brooks from Social Services. I got good news. 892 00:49:17,121 --> 00:49:19,331 We may have found a family for Julian. 893 00:49:19,540 --> 00:49:21,917 Give me a call back as soon as possible... 894 00:49:22,126 --> 00:49:24,670 ...SO we can set up a meeting. Bye. 895 00:49:35,681 --> 00:49:37,141 Sierra Club Legal Department. 896 00:49:37,433 --> 00:49:39,018 Can I speak to Layla Maloney? 897 00:49:39,435 --> 00:49:41,645 Layla, line four. 898 00:49:43,731 --> 00:49:45,774 - Hello? - You're a lawyer? 899 00:49:46,150 --> 00:49:47,610 What are you doing? 900 00:49:47,776 --> 00:49:51,155 Waiting for Julian so I can have somebody to play with. 901 00:49:51,739 --> 00:49:53,532 - What are you doing? - I'm swamped. 902 00:49:53,741 --> 00:49:55,868 I gotta do my laundry on my lunch hour. 903 00:49:56,076 --> 00:49:59,079 I was gonna do my laundry today too. Where are you going? 904 00:49:59,288 --> 00:50:02,082 There's a place nearby, Suds, on Bleecker. 905 00:50:02,291 --> 00:50:05,211 I know that place. Maybe I'll see you there then. 906 00:50:05,419 --> 00:50:07,713 Maybe. I gotta go. 907 00:50:17,932 --> 00:50:20,643 I bought tickets and the show was the night before. 908 00:50:20,809 --> 00:50:21,936 Maybe it was a mistake. 909 00:50:22,186 --> 00:50:26,065 That's nice, but you don't know what's going down on the streets. 910 00:50:26,440 --> 00:50:28,234 It's hard to know what's going down... 911 00:50:28,442 --> 00:50:31,946 ...when you're in an office seven days a week, Mr. Tollbooth. 912 00:50:32,112 --> 00:50:34,448 You're not gonna tell me to get a real job. 913 00:50:34,615 --> 00:50:36,742 No. You're a big boy. 914 00:50:36,951 --> 00:50:38,953 It's cool you only work one day a week. 915 00:50:40,204 --> 00:50:42,790 These are the cutest things I've ever seen. 916 00:50:42,957 --> 00:50:46,710 I know. I have them in yellow. I wear them when I work out. 917 00:50:48,128 --> 00:50:51,257 It's great what you're doing with Julian while you got him. 918 00:50:51,632 --> 00:50:52,716 Yeah, well, I got him. 919 00:50:52,925 --> 00:50:54,635 I read an article that said... 920 00:50:54,843 --> 00:50:58,180 ...the most important influences in a kid's life are his friends. 921 00:50:58,347 --> 00:50:59,598 They said that? 922 00:50:59,807 --> 00:51:02,434 Just hope he's not hanging out with drug dealers... 923 00:51:02,601 --> 00:51:04,019 ...and delinquents in school. 924 00:51:06,522 --> 00:51:07,648 I'm kidding. 925 00:51:09,149 --> 00:51:10,150 I know. I know. 926 00:51:11,944 --> 00:51:14,863 Man, this Yoo-Hoo is good. You know what else is good? 927 00:51:15,114 --> 00:51:16,740 Smoking dope. 928 00:51:17,032 --> 00:51:18,659 I ain't going to rat you out. 929 00:51:18,826 --> 00:51:20,160 Puffing the cheeba. 930 00:51:20,327 --> 00:51:24,164 Go by the seesaw, smoke a J. You know what I'm talking about? 931 00:51:24,748 --> 00:51:26,166 I have a bellybutton. 932 00:51:26,458 --> 00:51:29,044 You have a bellybutton? We all have bellybuttons. 933 00:51:29,253 --> 00:51:32,381 And we all love Yoo-Hoo. Especially with a little rum. 934 00:51:32,631 --> 00:51:34,842 - What's rum? - You don't know? 935 00:51:35,050 --> 00:51:36,135 Rumpelstiltskin? 936 00:51:36,635 --> 00:51:38,095 Rumpelstiltskin. 937 00:51:38,304 --> 00:51:40,889 Rumpelstiltskin's a good man. So are you guys. 938 00:51:41,807 --> 00:51:44,184 Stay clean. Stay focused. 939 00:51:44,351 --> 00:51:47,062 Frankenstein, have fun with your friends. 940 00:51:48,689 --> 00:51:50,566 Why are you scratching so much? 941 00:51:50,774 --> 00:51:52,818 I have ecza.... 942 00:51:53,027 --> 00:51:54,486 Eczema? Gross. 943 00:51:54,695 --> 00:51:56,363 How do I make it stop itching? 944 00:51:56,572 --> 00:51:59,033 I don't know. You scratch it. 945 00:51:59,199 --> 00:52:01,410 Spaghetti-O's. Do you like Spaghetti-O's? 946 00:52:04,413 --> 00:52:05,914 Dented cans are half price. 947 00:52:06,081 --> 00:52:09,543 Microsoft went down three points. We gotta save some money. 948 00:52:11,795 --> 00:52:13,297 Here, give it a shot. 949 00:52:14,798 --> 00:52:16,300 That's it, boy. 950 00:52:16,592 --> 00:52:18,218 Put it in there. Feels good. 951 00:52:18,427 --> 00:52:21,055 Hi, Sonny. Hi, Sonny's friend. 952 00:52:21,305 --> 00:52:22,431 His name's Frankenstein. 953 00:52:22,890 --> 00:52:24,558 Hi, Frankenstein. Remember me? 954 00:52:24,808 --> 00:52:27,561 Help me. I'm lost. I don't know where I am. 955 00:52:27,728 --> 00:52:29,188 You don't gotta do that. 956 00:52:29,396 --> 00:52:32,441 You guys wear the same size T-shirt. That's cool. 957 00:52:32,691 --> 00:52:34,902 I heard you did laundry with my sister. 958 00:52:35,110 --> 00:52:36,445 She said we did laundry? 959 00:52:36,695 --> 00:52:39,531 Where I'm from, it's called doing the hibbity-dibbity. 960 00:52:41,241 --> 00:52:42,576 I got eczema. 961 00:52:42,951 --> 00:52:45,287 Well, then you shouldn't scratch it. 962 00:52:45,454 --> 00:52:48,207 Don't tell him what to do. He can scratch. 963 00:52:48,415 --> 00:52:50,125 - Scratch. - Is that better? 964 00:52:50,376 --> 00:52:52,211 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 965 00:52:52,628 --> 00:52:55,422 You know about kids? I thought you were a foot doctor. 966 00:52:55,631 --> 00:52:59,760 It's not doctor stuff. It's common sense. Scratching spreads rashes. 967 00:52:59,968 --> 00:53:02,262 This is something you learned at Hooters. 968 00:53:06,892 --> 00:53:09,395 - What the hell is he doing? - He's shopping. 969 00:53:09,603 --> 00:53:12,106 Microsoft went down three points. 970 00:53:12,773 --> 00:53:15,109 That's good. See you later, Frankenstein. 971 00:53:15,275 --> 00:53:18,862 Stay away from the frozen-food section. Your boobs'll harden. 972 00:53:26,870 --> 00:53:28,956 Isn't Little Italy the greatest? 973 00:53:29,123 --> 00:53:33,293 I like it. Everyone always tells me to hang out in the Village and SoHo. 974 00:53:33,460 --> 00:53:34,503 That's all right. 975 00:53:34,670 --> 00:53:38,882 But you gotta respect a place where the fatter you are, the cooler you are. 976 00:53:43,387 --> 00:53:46,807 Last time, he was with a different girl. I guess he ate her. 977 00:53:49,184 --> 00:53:52,354 I went to Coney Island today with the little boy. 978 00:53:52,521 --> 00:53:54,690 You gotta take a look at this. 979 00:53:54,940 --> 00:53:56,942 We had a blast together. 980 00:53:58,819 --> 00:54:00,154 He's so happy. 981 00:54:00,404 --> 00:54:01,822 He is such a good boy. 982 00:54:02,030 --> 00:54:05,492 If I have a kid of my own, I hope he's half as cool as that kid. 983 00:54:06,160 --> 00:54:07,494 Is he picking your nose? 984 00:54:07,911 --> 00:54:10,038 Yeah, he was picking his own all day... 985 00:54:10,289 --> 00:54:12,624 - ...s0 I figured he could borrow mine. - Sweet. 986 00:54:13,041 --> 00:54:15,419 He must be miserable without you right now. 987 00:54:15,711 --> 00:54:17,212 No, he's in good hands. 988 00:54:19,006 --> 00:54:21,925 Look at Brad's body. Not an ounce of fat on it. 989 00:54:22,134 --> 00:54:24,928 - What? - Don't worry. I like yours better. 990 00:54:28,307 --> 00:54:30,350 I got two queens, two jacks and an ace. 991 00:54:30,559 --> 00:54:32,227 - I win. - Why do you win? 992 00:54:32,436 --> 00:54:36,356 I got a two, a four, a 10, an eight and a six. 993 00:54:36,565 --> 00:54:38,358 I don't understand. Why do you win? 994 00:54:38,567 --> 00:54:40,861 - Because I win. - What's the name of that game? 995 00:54:41,028 --> 00:54:42,070 I win. 996 00:54:42,237 --> 00:54:43,864 I'll get it! 997 00:54:45,741 --> 00:54:48,035 - What's up? - I'm looking for Kevin Gerrity. 998 00:54:48,202 --> 00:54:49,995 He's in China. Who are you? 999 00:54:50,204 --> 00:54:53,749 Arthur Brooks, New York City Social Services. I'm confused. 1000 00:54:53,999 --> 00:54:56,543 Chinatown. He loves those egg rolls. 1001 00:54:56,960 --> 00:55:00,881 I've tried contacting him several times and he hasn't responded. 1002 00:55:01,089 --> 00:55:02,424 I'm concerned. 1003 00:55:02,591 --> 00:55:04,384 Ix-nay on the ketchup-nay. 1004 00:55:04,593 --> 00:55:06,553 - Have him call me. - All right. 1005 00:55:07,888 --> 00:55:09,890 My body's definitely better than his. 1006 00:55:10,057 --> 00:55:11,975 Without question. 1007 00:55:16,230 --> 00:55:20,067 It took you a long time to pencil me in. You work all the time. 1008 00:55:20,234 --> 00:55:21,443 I know. I'm excited. 1009 00:55:21,610 --> 00:55:24,238 You're excited. How long you been this crazy? 1010 00:55:25,864 --> 00:55:28,575 I guess ever since I was a little girl. 1011 00:55:29,368 --> 00:55:33,747 See, my mom got married really young and pretty much just raised us kids. 1012 00:55:34,081 --> 00:55:35,791 So when my dad took off... 1013 00:55:36,041 --> 00:55:38,585 ...she wasn't left with a lot of options. 1014 00:55:38,752 --> 00:55:41,797 And I think that's when I decided... 1015 00:55:42,005 --> 00:55:44,591 ...that I never wanted to end up in that situation. 1016 00:55:45,259 --> 00:55:47,803 That's actually a good reason to be working. 1017 00:55:48,053 --> 00:55:51,807 I guess I feel like I gotta kick ass while there's ass to be kicked. 1018 00:55:52,057 --> 00:55:56,270 You kick that ass during the day, but at night you have fun with Sonny. 1019 00:55:57,271 --> 00:56:01,525 The best of times 1020 00:56:02,818 --> 00:56:07,030 Are when I'm alone with you 1021 00:56:09,616 --> 00:56:13,453 Some rain, some shine 1022 00:56:21,461 --> 00:56:24,172 Two guys you were best friends with in law school... 1023 00:56:24,339 --> 00:56:26,049 ...fell in love with each other? 1024 00:56:26,258 --> 00:56:27,634 Is that strange for you? 1025 00:56:27,843 --> 00:56:29,845 No. Nothing changed, really. 1026 00:56:30,053 --> 00:56:33,307 They watch a different kind of porno now. But that's it. 1027 00:56:33,682 --> 00:56:35,183 Hello. 1028 00:56:36,059 --> 00:56:37,978 My God! This is Corinne's place? 1029 00:56:38,186 --> 00:56:40,814 If the girls at Hooters could see her now. 1030 00:56:40,981 --> 00:56:45,152 - Do you want your ass kicked? - I'm just kidding around, Layla. 1031 00:56:49,489 --> 00:56:53,076 You're afraid to get involved and you got a lot of work, but... 1032 00:56:53,619 --> 00:56:57,664 ...when I'm not with you, I'm thinking of you. Do you have that going on? 1033 00:56:58,081 --> 00:56:59,124 Maybe. 1034 00:56:59,333 --> 00:57:01,835 Maybe we should try a kiss out. 1035 00:57:02,085 --> 00:57:06,340 We owe it to ourselves to see if we should move to the next level. 1036 00:57:07,215 --> 00:57:08,717 I'm not sure. 1037 00:57:08,884 --> 00:57:12,012 Me either. It's just that you kissed Scuba Steve. 1038 00:57:12,179 --> 00:57:14,848 Ever since then, he's strutted around bragging... 1039 00:57:15,098 --> 00:57:19,311 ..."lI got a kiss the first night. After three times, you got nothing." 1040 00:57:19,519 --> 00:57:20,854 - He said that? - Come on. 1041 00:57:21,021 --> 00:57:24,358 Let's just give it a shot just so I can have some dignity. 1042 00:57:24,608 --> 00:57:25,901 All right? 1043 00:57:33,116 --> 00:57:35,077 Oh, my God! 1044 00:57:35,243 --> 00:57:36,703 Gross! 1045 00:57:36,870 --> 00:57:38,372 Did I witness the first kiss? 1046 00:57:38,538 --> 00:57:41,166 Yeah, you did. Thanks a lot for showing up. 1047 00:57:41,750 --> 00:57:44,878 Layla, you didn't actually enjoy that, did you? 1048 00:57:45,045 --> 00:57:47,589 I don't know. I'm going upstairs. 1049 00:57:47,756 --> 00:57:50,008 Wash your mouth out. He's dirty. 1050 00:57:50,217 --> 00:57:51,843 And he's poor. 1051 00:57:52,052 --> 00:57:56,056 What do you got in the bag, Corinne? Some chicken wings? Booby tassels? 1052 00:57:56,348 --> 00:57:57,391 Shut up. 1053 00:57:57,557 --> 00:57:59,059 You have a good sleep. 1054 00:57:59,226 --> 00:58:00,852 Pleasant Hooters. 1055 00:58:05,399 --> 00:58:07,234 Come on, come on! 1056 00:58:07,567 --> 00:58:09,444 This is where we hang our jackets. 1057 00:58:09,653 --> 00:58:10,904 This is my hook. 1058 00:58:11,071 --> 00:58:12,406 That's a capertillar. 1059 00:58:12,656 --> 00:58:13,865 A caterpillar. 1060 00:58:14,074 --> 00:58:17,411 - That's right, a capertillar. - Capertillar, all right. 1061 00:58:17,661 --> 00:58:19,287 - Staying clean, pal? - Yes. 1062 00:58:19,538 --> 00:58:22,457 You drink the booze, you lose. Remember that, punk. 1063 00:58:24,084 --> 00:58:26,211 I'm Julian's teacher, Ms. Foote. 1064 00:58:26,420 --> 00:58:28,588 - You his father? - I'm Kevin Gerrity. 1065 00:58:28,922 --> 00:58:31,425 Do you have some time to go over some things... 1066 00:58:31,591 --> 00:58:34,136 - ...that have been bothering me? - Sure. 1067 00:58:34,302 --> 00:58:36,179 Go take a walk, pal. 1068 00:58:36,430 --> 00:58:39,433 Julian has been displaying some odd behavior. 1069 00:58:39,599 --> 00:58:42,936 He spilled glue on the floor and didn't tell anyone. 1070 00:58:43,103 --> 00:58:44,813 He covered it with newspaper. 1071 00:58:45,605 --> 00:58:49,985 And then one of our students wore Rollerblades for show-and-tell. 1072 00:58:50,193 --> 00:58:52,779 And Julian tripped him with a stick. 1073 00:58:53,071 --> 00:58:54,114 I've never-- 1074 00:58:56,783 --> 00:58:58,660 Julian found it hilarious. 1075 00:58:58,827 --> 00:59:01,246 I like him to express himself freely. 1076 00:59:01,455 --> 00:59:04,458 I've really never seen any problems with that. 1077 00:59:08,295 --> 00:59:11,506 Your boy's making the least progress of any of the children. 1078 00:59:12,132 --> 00:59:15,844 Frankly, his personal hygiene is becoming a cause for concern. 1079 00:59:16,303 --> 00:59:19,723 He's the smelly kid in class? I let him become the smelly kid? 1080 00:59:19,931 --> 00:59:21,141 What's wrong with me? 1081 00:59:21,349 --> 00:59:23,310 I've had some smelly ones before. 1082 00:59:23,518 --> 00:59:25,979 But your son is by far the smelliest. 1083 00:59:26,229 --> 00:59:28,982 All right, I got you. What do you think I should do? 1084 00:59:29,232 --> 00:59:31,860 Start by paying more attention to his schoolwork. 1085 00:59:32,527 --> 00:59:35,947 The class is giving a presentation of the Founding Fathers. 1086 00:59:36,156 --> 00:59:40,327 Julian has drawn the part of Benjamin Franklin, a very important role. 1087 00:59:40,494 --> 00:59:41,787 Do what you can to help. 1088 00:59:41,995 --> 00:59:44,748 I will turn this all around. That's a promise. 1089 00:59:44,956 --> 00:59:46,333 Thank you very much. 1090 00:59:46,541 --> 00:59:49,044 Stinky, let's go. You got us in trouble. 1091 00:59:49,252 --> 00:59:50,545 Did he call him "Stinky"? 1092 00:59:54,007 --> 00:59:56,676 Wow, I didn't know this about George Washington. 1093 00:59:56,843 --> 00:59:59,304 Yes, his teeth were made of wool. 1094 00:59:59,513 --> 01:00:01,056 Wood. 1095 01:00:01,973 --> 01:00:03,809 I sorry. I mix up "D" and "L." 1096 01:00:04,017 --> 01:00:05,268 Well, get it right. 1097 01:00:07,020 --> 01:00:08,688 Turn that game off, pal. 1098 01:00:08,897 --> 01:00:10,190 I got four guys left. 1099 01:00:10,398 --> 01:00:11,983 Let's study a little bit. 1100 01:00:12,192 --> 01:00:13,360 I don't wanna study. 1101 01:00:13,527 --> 01:00:14,569 Give me that. 1102 01:00:15,570 --> 01:00:18,573 - You just killed me. - So what? You'll play later. 1103 01:00:18,782 --> 01:00:20,408 You can't tell me what to do. 1104 01:00:20,659 --> 01:00:24,579 Really? Let's take a vote. Who thinks the kid should study? 1105 01:00:25,914 --> 01:00:29,084 Who doesn't? Well, you just lost, two to one. 1106 01:00:29,292 --> 01:00:32,587 It's a tie. That guy doesn't count. He can't even read. 1107 01:00:33,922 --> 01:00:36,049 I know. He was just joking around. 1108 01:00:36,800 --> 01:00:40,345 Can you hang out here a little bit? I gotta go do something. 1109 01:00:40,554 --> 01:00:41,721 No problem. 1110 01:00:43,056 --> 01:00:44,432 Would you like 1111 01:00:46,560 --> 01:00:48,395 We'll hop, hop, hop, hop 1112 01:00:48,603 --> 01:00:50,313 What do you say? 1113 01:00:51,940 --> 01:00:53,441 Get the door. 1114 01:01:00,323 --> 01:01:01,908 Hi, Julian. How you doing? 1115 01:01:02,409 --> 01:01:04,286 I'm Scuba Sam. 1116 01:01:04,452 --> 01:01:06,079 Scuba Steve's father. 1117 01:01:06,329 --> 01:01:07,581 You see, my boy... 1118 01:01:07,831 --> 01:01:09,583 ...needs to take a bath. 1119 01:01:09,958 --> 01:01:11,459 The only problem is... 1120 01:01:11,710 --> 01:01:13,753 ...he's afraid to bathe alone. 1121 01:01:13,920 --> 01:01:15,547 So I was wondering... 1122 01:01:15,755 --> 01:01:19,259 ...if maybe you could keep him company in the tub. 1123 01:01:20,093 --> 01:01:24,264 Terrific. And after the bath, you have to try and study hard. 1124 01:01:24,472 --> 01:01:27,726 Because if you wanna be a member of the Scuba Squad... 1125 01:01:27,893 --> 01:01:29,269 ...you have to be smart. 1126 01:01:29,477 --> 01:01:31,605 I could be in the Scuba Squad? 1127 01:01:31,771 --> 01:01:35,358 Well, sure. All you have to do is work hard. 1128 01:01:35,567 --> 01:01:38,153 And don't tell a soul about the Scuba Squad... 1129 01:01:38,361 --> 01:01:40,614 ...because then everybody will wanna join. 1130 01:01:40,780 --> 01:01:42,282 And one more thing... 1131 01:01:42,449 --> 01:01:44,784 ...be nice to the delivery guy, would you? 1132 01:01:46,286 --> 01:01:48,079 It's not his fault he can't read. 1133 01:01:48,914 --> 01:01:50,582 Take care. 1134 01:01:54,628 --> 01:01:58,298 He told me to watch his boat for him. Said that he wanted to... 1135 01:01:58,465 --> 01:02:01,134 ...talk to you about some secret mission. 1136 01:02:01,593 --> 01:02:04,137 I have no idea what you're talking about. 1137 01:02:04,554 --> 01:02:05,722 Okay. 1138 01:02:07,140 --> 01:02:09,601 How come I have to wear a bathing suit? 1139 01:02:09,809 --> 01:02:11,311 I don't know the rules... 1140 01:02:11,478 --> 01:02:15,774 ...with little kids and grownups and being naked and just sit down. 1141 01:02:18,151 --> 01:02:21,529 The good news is you're not smelling like a foot anymore. 1142 01:02:21,696 --> 01:02:25,533 I read something interesting. You know Benjamin Franklin invented... 1143 01:02:25,784 --> 01:02:27,786 ...bifocals? That's pretty cool. 1144 01:02:27,953 --> 01:02:28,995 What are they? 1145 01:02:29,162 --> 01:02:33,333 I'll show you in that book. It might help you out with your school play. 1146 01:02:34,167 --> 01:02:35,835 We'll make this a regular thing. 1147 01:02:36,002 --> 01:02:39,172 Bathing and studying and eating right. 1148 01:02:39,422 --> 01:02:42,050 Put your head back. My grandmother did this to me. 1149 01:02:42,217 --> 01:02:47,013 "Oh, boy. When I was a little girl, frankfurters only cost a nickel." 1150 01:02:47,430 --> 01:02:48,515 Can you still have fun? 1151 01:02:48,723 --> 01:02:50,475 Yeah, but after you study. 1152 01:02:50,684 --> 01:02:53,728 In fact, we gotta get you dressing differently. 1153 01:02:53,937 --> 01:02:56,147 - We'll go to Barney's. - Barney? 1154 01:02:56,356 --> 01:02:59,442 Not that Barney. A more expensive Barney. 1155 01:03:08,952 --> 01:03:10,704 All right, one at a time. 1156 01:03:10,954 --> 01:03:12,455 That's one. 1157 01:03:12,872 --> 01:03:14,207 Two. 1158 01:03:15,959 --> 01:03:18,545 See? Urinals are good too. 1159 01:03:39,274 --> 01:03:40,734 "Electricity." 1160 01:03:40,900 --> 01:03:41,985 Very good. 1161 01:03:42,193 --> 01:03:43,445 "Constitution." 1162 01:03:43,611 --> 01:03:44,863 That's it. 1163 01:03:45,071 --> 01:03:46,281 "Philadelphia." 1164 01:03:46,489 --> 01:03:47,615 Smart. Good. 1165 01:03:50,410 --> 01:03:51,494 "Fish"? 1166 01:03:53,621 --> 01:03:54,789 "Pony"? 1167 01:03:56,750 --> 01:03:57,792 "Hip--" 1168 01:03:58,918 --> 01:04:00,378 "Hiphop--" 1169 01:04:00,545 --> 01:04:01,588 "Hipopynonamous"? 1170 01:04:03,131 --> 01:04:06,009 Damn you! You gave him the easy ones! 1171 01:04:09,512 --> 01:04:10,930 - Thanks! - You're welcome. 1172 01:04:14,559 --> 01:04:15,602 Slow down. 1173 01:04:16,311 --> 01:04:19,105 - You owe me a Sausage McMuffin. - Okay. 1174 01:04:26,446 --> 01:04:27,530 There's a pole there. 1175 01:04:37,123 --> 01:04:39,167 My name is Alexander Hamilton. 1176 01:04:39,542 --> 01:04:42,253 I was the first Secretary of the Treasury. 1177 01:04:42,462 --> 01:04:44,839 I owned a bank and a newspaper. 1178 01:04:45,131 --> 01:04:47,425 Aaron Bird shot me. 1179 01:04:51,471 --> 01:04:53,932 Hi, my name is Benjamin Franklin. 1180 01:04:54,265 --> 01:04:56,810 I was a writer, a diplomat... 1181 01:04:57,102 --> 01:04:59,312 ...an inventor and a statesman... 1182 01:04:59,646 --> 01:05:03,650 ...although I only went to school for two years. 1183 01:05:04,859 --> 01:05:09,197 I wrote many books and invented many things we still use today. 1184 01:05:13,993 --> 01:05:17,664 The Declaration of Independence is finished. 1185 01:05:19,332 --> 01:05:21,000 Who will be the first to sign? 1186 01:05:21,209 --> 01:05:24,629 - How about you, John Hancock? - I want to sign! 1187 01:05:28,883 --> 01:05:31,594 - Look at my man stand strong. - He's so cute. 1188 01:05:37,392 --> 01:05:38,643 What are your cards? 1189 01:05:38,852 --> 01:05:43,606 I got a six, a five, a jack, a four and a eight. 1190 01:05:43,982 --> 01:05:46,025 - I win. - What do you mean? 1191 01:05:46,234 --> 01:05:48,695 I had a hand just like that. I didn't win. 1192 01:05:48,862 --> 01:05:51,322 - Because I win. - This is bullshit! 1193 01:05:51,531 --> 01:05:53,199 All right. Take it easy, man. 1194 01:05:53,408 --> 01:05:55,201 Every time it's different cards. 1195 01:05:55,368 --> 01:05:57,078 So what? Relax. He's a kid. 1196 01:05:57,245 --> 01:06:00,540 There should be same set of rules, no matter what age. 1197 01:06:00,748 --> 01:06:02,750 He's gotta learn how to lose too. 1198 01:06:03,126 --> 01:06:05,587 - Hello, Mr. Koufax. - Mr. Brooks, how you doing? 1199 01:06:05,753 --> 01:06:07,547 I was gonna give you a buzz. 1200 01:06:08,548 --> 01:06:11,259 You just called me Mr. Koufax, didn't you? 1201 01:06:11,509 --> 01:06:13,595 It is your name, isn't it? Sonny Koufax? 1202 01:06:13,761 --> 01:06:16,347 You held yourself out to be Kevin Gerrity... 1203 01:06:16,556 --> 01:06:18,558 ...to gain custody of young Julian. 1204 01:06:18,892 --> 01:06:20,727 Big problem in this state. 1205 01:06:20,935 --> 01:06:22,729 I've delivered to you before. 1206 01:06:22,896 --> 01:06:25,356 You always order three pieces of cheesecake. 1207 01:06:26,149 --> 01:06:28,943 The real Kevin Gerrity asked me to take care of-- 1208 01:06:29,152 --> 01:06:30,945 Save it, Mr. Koufax. 1209 01:06:31,196 --> 01:06:33,573 He has to come with me or I'll arrest you. 1210 01:06:33,740 --> 01:06:35,074 Take out your handcuffs. 1211 01:06:35,241 --> 01:06:38,161 I don't have any, but two policemen downstairs do. 1212 01:06:38,661 --> 01:06:40,914 Listen, Sonny, I would like to help... 1213 01:06:41,164 --> 01:06:44,918 ...but my status in your country is not what you would call legal. 1214 01:06:45,168 --> 01:06:46,252 It's okay. 1215 01:06:46,586 --> 01:06:47,712 I'm Audi. 1216 01:06:47,921 --> 01:06:50,757 Julian, you're gonna have to come with me. 1217 01:06:51,090 --> 01:06:52,383 - Just give me-- - Sonny. 1218 01:06:52,800 --> 01:06:54,427 One second, pal. 1219 01:06:56,429 --> 01:06:59,807 Would you just give me a second to say goodbye to the kid? 1220 01:07:00,934 --> 01:07:01,935 Take a second. 1221 01:07:10,193 --> 01:07:12,487 You don't want me here anymore? 1222 01:07:12,779 --> 01:07:14,656 No, that's not it, pal. 1223 01:07:14,822 --> 01:07:17,158 You just gotta go away for a little while. 1224 01:07:17,325 --> 01:07:19,827 How long am I going away for? 1225 01:07:19,994 --> 01:07:21,996 I don't wanna lie to you. 1226 01:07:24,332 --> 01:07:26,125 I don't think we're gonna... 1227 01:07:26,626 --> 01:07:28,753 ...be seeing each other anymore. 1228 01:07:30,213 --> 01:07:33,091 I screwed up, pal. I'm so sorry. 1229 01:07:34,008 --> 01:07:35,343 Come here. 1230 01:07:36,010 --> 01:07:37,220 Put your coat on. 1231 01:07:42,976 --> 01:07:45,436 It's not your fault, okay? I'm the idiot. 1232 01:07:45,728 --> 01:07:47,814 - I don't wanna go. - I know you don't. 1233 01:07:47,981 --> 01:07:50,441 But you have to, and you're gonna be okay. 1234 01:07:53,444 --> 01:07:55,530 Please don't make me go. 1235 01:07:55,738 --> 01:07:58,199 I'm sorry, but I don't know what else to do. 1236 01:07:58,366 --> 01:08:00,868 I won't play the kangaroo song anymore. 1237 01:08:01,452 --> 01:08:02,787 Come on. 1238 01:08:02,996 --> 01:08:04,664 Just go. You gotta go. 1239 01:08:04,872 --> 01:08:05,999 You gotta go. 1240 01:08:07,834 --> 01:08:10,336 I don't wanna go. I promise... 1241 01:08:10,503 --> 01:08:13,506 ...I'm sorry. I don't even like that song anymore. 1242 01:08:13,756 --> 01:08:15,842 I know, pal. That's not it. 1243 01:08:16,009 --> 01:08:19,178 But I wipe my own ass! I wipe my own ass! 1244 01:08:20,680 --> 01:08:22,348 I know. 1245 01:08:41,534 --> 01:08:43,911 - Layla, they took the kid. - Who? 1246 01:08:44,078 --> 01:08:46,581 Social Services. I gotta get him back. 1247 01:08:46,831 --> 01:08:48,708 You said this was just temporary. 1248 01:08:48,875 --> 01:08:51,836 I can't have it be temporary. It's gotta be permanent. 1249 01:08:52,045 --> 01:08:53,713 Okay, what can we do? 1250 01:08:53,921 --> 01:08:57,342 I filed to get custody based on the child's best interests. 1251 01:08:57,550 --> 01:09:01,387 Tommy knew a clerk, so they fast-tracked the hearing. It's Tuesday. 1252 01:09:01,554 --> 01:09:03,389 - This Tuesday? - You got work? 1253 01:09:03,598 --> 01:09:06,601 I gotta go to Washington for a hearing to dismiss my case. 1254 01:09:06,851 --> 01:09:08,394 Can you get somebody else? 1255 01:09:08,603 --> 01:09:11,105 I'm sorry, Sonny. I can't. It's my case. 1256 01:09:11,314 --> 01:09:14,442 We don't even know where this kid's gonna end up. 1257 01:09:14,734 --> 01:09:18,237 Sonny, this is exactly why I didn't wanna get involved. 1258 01:09:18,446 --> 01:09:20,406 I had things going the way I wanted. 1259 01:09:20,615 --> 01:09:24,494 Then at the park, you and this kid come barging into my life... 1260 01:09:24,702 --> 01:09:27,705 ...and it's screwing up everything I had planned. 1261 01:09:27,955 --> 01:09:30,917 You think I planned on a kid showing up on my doorstep? 1262 01:09:31,125 --> 01:09:32,710 But I fell in love with him. 1263 01:09:34,045 --> 01:09:36,047 So now my plans have changed. 1264 01:10:31,102 --> 01:10:32,520 All rise. 1265 01:10:39,819 --> 01:10:43,781 We're here to determine proper custody of Julian McGrath... 1266 01:10:43,990 --> 01:10:47,201 ...also known as Julian Gerrity, a minor child. 1267 01:10:47,410 --> 01:10:48,995 Representing New York City? 1268 01:10:49,162 --> 01:10:50,538 Ted Castellucci. 1269 01:10:50,788 --> 01:10:52,665 Arthur Brooks, Social Services. 1270 01:10:52,832 --> 01:10:54,834 And representing Sonny Koufax? 1271 01:10:55,001 --> 01:10:56,169 Phillip D'Amato. 1272 01:10:56,335 --> 01:10:57,420 Thomas Grayton. 1273 01:10:57,712 --> 01:11:00,298 Plus, I'll pretty much be representing myself. 1274 01:11:00,506 --> 01:11:01,549 Anyone else? 1275 01:11:01,716 --> 01:11:04,010 Layla Maloney, Your Honor. 1276 01:11:07,180 --> 01:11:09,640 - Thank you. - Does this mean that you love me? 1277 01:11:09,849 --> 01:11:11,434 Something like that. 1278 01:11:12,226 --> 01:11:13,728 First witness. 1279 01:11:13,936 --> 01:11:16,689 Koufax is a good egg. He was nice to that kid. 1280 01:11:17,440 --> 01:11:20,693 But he fights like a girl. You like that? 1281 01:11:20,943 --> 01:11:22,695 I'm right here, miss. 1282 01:11:22,862 --> 01:11:24,697 What are you gonna do about it? 1283 01:11:26,532 --> 01:11:28,242 Are you drunk, Mr. Herlihy? 1284 01:11:28,451 --> 01:11:31,204 I had a few chardonnays. What of it? 1285 01:11:32,038 --> 01:11:33,247 Get off the stand. 1286 01:11:33,706 --> 01:11:35,041 You got it. 1287 01:11:35,541 --> 01:11:37,084 I've got a few problems. 1288 01:11:37,502 --> 01:11:38,753 Off to a good start. 1289 01:11:39,003 --> 01:11:43,841 Mr. Koufax is a really cool guy. I wish my dad was as cool as him. 1290 01:11:44,050 --> 01:11:45,760 My dad was a military man. 1291 01:11:46,552 --> 01:11:49,555 Guess I wasn't such a "good soldier." 1292 01:11:49,972 --> 01:11:54,769 When I was 35, he attempted to give me a crew cut while I was sleeping. 1293 01:11:55,061 --> 01:11:57,563 I broke his arm, haven't seen him since. 1294 01:11:58,105 --> 01:12:01,025 I'd rather live on the streets than under his rules. 1295 01:12:07,615 --> 01:12:11,994 Anyway, I think Mr. Koufax should be acquitted of all the charges. 1296 01:12:13,246 --> 01:12:17,250 If O.J. can get away with murder, why can't Sonny have his kid? 1297 01:12:18,584 --> 01:12:20,628 This guy knows what I'm talking about. 1298 01:12:22,922 --> 01:12:24,632 No more questions. 1299 01:12:26,133 --> 01:12:27,969 No more questions... 1300 01:12:28,261 --> 01:12:30,888 How long have you delivered food to Mr. Koufax? 1301 01:12:31,097 --> 01:12:32,765 I deliver food for six years. 1302 01:12:32,932 --> 01:12:36,018 Plus, I'm stripper. But I've put on weight so it's problem. 1303 01:12:36,227 --> 01:12:40,314 I see. And in your experience, was Sonny a good father to Julian? 1304 01:12:40,565 --> 01:12:43,276 Oh, yes. They make terrific pair. 1305 01:12:43,442 --> 01:12:45,945 They went together like lamb and tuna fish. 1306 01:12:47,780 --> 01:12:49,323 Lamb and tuna fish? 1307 01:12:49,949 --> 01:12:53,536 Spaghetti and meatball? You more comfortable with that analogy? 1308 01:12:53,744 --> 01:12:55,955 Yes, considering we're in America. 1309 01:12:56,163 --> 01:12:58,791 If you don't like spaghetti and meatballs, get out. 1310 01:12:59,041 --> 01:13:00,543 I'll come give you a crew cut. 1311 01:13:00,793 --> 01:13:02,169 Let's see your clippers. 1312 01:13:02,420 --> 01:13:04,171 Not my problem your dad was sick. 1313 01:13:06,465 --> 01:13:08,050 Stop yelling at me! 1314 01:13:11,178 --> 01:13:13,681 Order! Order! Order! 1315 01:13:13,848 --> 01:13:15,433 Am I in the right room? 1316 01:13:15,641 --> 01:13:16,809 Who the hell are you? 1317 01:13:17,059 --> 01:13:18,686 I'm Mr. Koufax's co-counsel. 1318 01:13:18,853 --> 01:13:20,646 He has enough co-counsels. 1319 01:13:20,855 --> 01:13:22,481 Well... 1320 01:13:23,774 --> 01:13:24,984 ...one more won't hurt. 1321 01:13:25,192 --> 01:13:26,652 Let's get on with it. 1322 01:13:26,861 --> 01:13:29,864 Mr. Koufax is simply parading his buddies up there. 1323 01:13:30,072 --> 01:13:32,491 Can't they find someone who isn't a friend? 1324 01:13:32,700 --> 01:13:34,994 What were Julian and Mr. Koufax doing? 1325 01:13:35,161 --> 01:13:36,203 Shopping. 1326 01:13:36,370 --> 01:13:39,332 Did he appear to be an attentive, loving father? 1327 01:13:39,498 --> 01:13:41,000 He certainly did. 1328 01:13:41,334 --> 01:13:43,544 And how long have you disliked Mr. Koufax? 1329 01:13:43,711 --> 01:13:45,046 Since the day I met him. 1330 01:13:45,212 --> 01:13:48,341 For the record, where did you work during medical school? 1331 01:13:49,842 --> 01:13:51,218 Hooters. 1332 01:13:53,012 --> 01:13:54,805 No further questions. 1333 01:13:55,723 --> 01:13:57,183 Asshole. 1334 01:13:57,391 --> 01:13:58,726 Next witness. 1335 01:13:59,226 --> 01:14:01,312 We'd like to call Julian McGrath. 1336 01:14:15,201 --> 01:14:18,537 If it's okay with you, I'd like to ask you a few questions. 1337 01:14:18,871 --> 01:14:20,581 This is just you and me talking... 1338 01:14:20,748 --> 01:14:22,917 ...S0 don't pay attention to these people. 1339 01:14:23,125 --> 01:14:25,211 Can you tell me how old you are? 1340 01:14:26,921 --> 01:14:28,631 Your Honor, one second. 1341 01:14:41,727 --> 01:14:43,396 That's better, huh? 1342 01:14:43,729 --> 01:14:45,439 Can you tell me how old you are? 1343 01:14:45,773 --> 01:14:47,024 Five. 1344 01:14:47,233 --> 01:14:48,526 What's your birthday? 1345 01:14:48,734 --> 01:14:50,403 July 15th. 1346 01:14:50,653 --> 01:14:51,779 Where were you born? 1347 01:14:52,029 --> 01:14:53,072 Toronto. 1348 01:14:53,280 --> 01:14:55,700 Toronto? I thought you were from Buffalo. 1349 01:14:56,075 --> 01:14:58,786 I moved to Buffalo with my mommy. 1350 01:14:59,036 --> 01:15:02,206 For the past six weeks, you've been living with Sonny? 1351 01:15:02,665 --> 01:15:04,000 Yes. 1352 01:15:04,208 --> 01:15:06,961 - Did you and Sonny have fun? - Yes. 1353 01:15:07,169 --> 01:15:08,921 What kind of things would you do? 1354 01:15:09,171 --> 01:15:13,092 He taught me how to do the sleeper hold like Chief Jay Strongbow. 1355 01:15:13,676 --> 01:15:14,969 That's nice. 1356 01:15:15,177 --> 01:15:16,220 Anything else? 1357 01:15:16,429 --> 01:15:18,806 He taught me how to pee on a building. 1358 01:15:19,265 --> 01:15:20,307 Really? 1359 01:15:23,978 --> 01:15:28,607 And he taught me that Styx was one of the greatest American rock bands. 1360 01:15:28,816 --> 01:15:30,609 They only caught a bad rap... 1361 01:15:30,818 --> 01:15:34,280 ...because most critics are cynical assholes. 1362 01:15:36,949 --> 01:15:38,993 I think we'd all agree with that. 1363 01:15:40,953 --> 01:15:43,164 Before you came here, do you remember... 1364 01:15:43,330 --> 01:15:45,458 ...the last thing your mommy said to you? 1365 01:15:45,624 --> 01:15:49,253 That she loved me and I was gonna live with my new daddy. 1366 01:15:49,462 --> 01:15:52,339 If your mother could pick anyone to be your new daddy... 1367 01:15:52,590 --> 01:15:53,841 ...who would she pick? 1368 01:15:54,008 --> 01:15:55,718 Sonny. 1369 01:15:56,635 --> 01:15:57,845 Thank you, Julian. 1370 01:15:58,095 --> 01:15:59,513 You can step down now. 1371 01:16:04,435 --> 01:16:06,103 That went good, don't you think? 1372 01:16:06,353 --> 01:16:09,315 I don't know. Judge doesn't look too happy. 1373 01:16:09,648 --> 01:16:12,234 Mr. Koufax, anyone else? 1374 01:16:16,947 --> 01:16:19,283 I'd like to call upon myself, Your Honor. 1375 01:16:19,492 --> 01:16:20,785 Awesome. 1376 01:16:20,993 --> 01:16:24,121 Which of your esteemed co-counsels will examine you? 1377 01:16:26,040 --> 01:16:28,375 My father, Lenny Koufax. 1378 01:16:28,626 --> 01:16:29,794 What? 1379 01:16:30,252 --> 01:16:31,629 Forget it, Sonny. 1380 01:16:31,837 --> 01:16:33,339 What is going on? 1381 01:16:33,506 --> 01:16:37,802 Nobody in this world thinks I shouldn't have a child more than that man. 1382 01:16:38,135 --> 01:16:41,680 He also happens to be a well-respected lawyer in Florida. 1383 01:16:41,847 --> 01:16:46,018 If I can make a believer out of him, I can make a believer out of everybody. 1384 01:16:46,185 --> 01:16:50,773 This court is after the truth, not the opinion of the defendant's father. 1385 01:16:50,981 --> 01:16:53,359 You want my opinion? My son is a moron. 1386 01:16:53,526 --> 01:16:55,986 I withdraw my objection. Please proceed. 1387 01:16:56,153 --> 01:16:57,988 Mr. Koufax. 1388 01:17:00,908 --> 01:17:02,576 This is a big mistake. 1389 01:17:03,077 --> 01:17:06,497 I only came today to make sure you didn't end up in jail. 1390 01:17:06,705 --> 01:17:08,541 That was nice of you. Thank you. 1391 01:17:08,707 --> 01:17:11,585 To do what I think is right here. 1392 01:17:11,794 --> 01:17:14,380 Cut your fingernails. They're too long. 1393 01:17:14,547 --> 01:17:15,548 Okay, Dad. 1394 01:17:15,798 --> 01:17:17,174 This case is simple. 1395 01:17:18,342 --> 01:17:22,888 It is absurd to think that Sonny Koufax is ready to raise a child. 1396 01:17:23,097 --> 01:17:24,849 - Objection! - Shut up, Tommy. 1397 01:17:25,432 --> 01:17:26,934 Sorry, Mr. Koufax. 1398 01:17:27,560 --> 01:17:29,395 First of all, how did... 1399 01:17:29,603 --> 01:17:34,108 ...this sweet little boy, Julian, end up under your supervision? 1400 01:17:35,192 --> 01:17:38,445 I told Social Services that my name was Kevin Gerrity. 1401 01:17:38,821 --> 01:17:41,115 - Of course, you are not Kevin Gerrity. - No. 1402 01:17:41,323 --> 01:17:42,825 - So you lied. - Yes. 1403 01:17:43,075 --> 01:17:46,078 Like the time I found a bag of pot in your drawer... 1404 01:17:46,328 --> 01:17:49,123 ...and you said you thought they were pencil shavings. 1405 01:17:49,999 --> 01:17:51,083 Yeah. 1406 01:17:51,584 --> 01:17:54,795 Remember when I told you Aunt Fay was coming to New York... 1407 01:17:54,962 --> 01:17:57,214 ...and I wanted you to show her the city? 1408 01:17:57,423 --> 01:17:59,925 And you said that you had better things to do. 1409 01:18:00,134 --> 01:18:01,260 That's right. 1410 01:18:01,468 --> 01:18:05,472 I'm curious. Just what were those better things that you had to do? 1411 01:18:07,600 --> 01:18:11,645 Jethro Tull had a reunion concert in New Jersey, so I caught that. 1412 01:18:14,106 --> 01:18:16,358 What happened to Aunt Fay that weekend? 1413 01:18:17,151 --> 01:18:18,235 She died. 1414 01:18:18,402 --> 01:18:19,445 Yes, she did. 1415 01:18:20,905 --> 01:18:23,449 Did you happen to make it to her funeral? 1416 01:18:25,159 --> 01:18:28,287 - Why not? - I went to Jones Beach... 1417 01:18:28,454 --> 01:18:30,164 ...got drunk and fell asleep. 1418 01:18:30,414 --> 01:18:31,457 Hell, yes! 1419 01:18:32,666 --> 01:18:33,959 Some role model. 1420 01:18:35,878 --> 01:18:37,171 Your Honor... 1421 01:18:37,880 --> 01:18:39,965 ...my son doesn't have health insurance. 1422 01:18:40,132 --> 01:18:42,134 He doesn't know how to boil an egg. 1423 01:18:42,301 --> 01:18:45,888 He filed for social security at the age of 30. 1424 01:18:46,430 --> 01:18:49,308 He is a drain on the economy, on the country... 1425 01:18:49,516 --> 01:18:51,352 ...and most of all, on me! 1426 01:18:53,812 --> 01:18:57,316 Your Honor, to give this young man... 1427 01:18:58,442 --> 01:19:02,321 ...custody over another life is not only wrong... 1428 01:19:02,613 --> 01:19:03,822 ...it's insane. 1429 01:19:10,412 --> 01:19:12,665 Hey. I love you. 1430 01:19:13,415 --> 01:19:16,961 - What? - Don't be scared. It's all right. 1431 01:19:17,127 --> 01:19:18,545 I'm not scared. 1432 01:19:18,754 --> 01:19:21,840 If I get custody of Julian, I'll be his father forever. 1433 01:19:22,341 --> 01:19:25,970 That scares you because you think there's a good chance I'll fail. 1434 01:19:26,136 --> 01:19:30,057 Sonny, it's more than a chance. It's a certainty. 1435 01:19:30,266 --> 01:19:31,517 You're wrong, Dad. 1436 01:19:31,976 --> 01:19:36,230 You can be scared that I might get pickpocketed in a bad neighborhood... 1437 01:19:36,438 --> 01:19:38,399 ...or break my legs skiing. 1438 01:19:38,607 --> 01:19:42,403 But don't be scared about me being a dad, because I will not fail. 1439 01:19:42,861 --> 01:19:44,613 I love this kid too much. 1440 01:19:44,863 --> 01:19:47,366 I love him as much as you love me, Dad. 1441 01:19:47,574 --> 01:19:50,244 I'm gonna give him advice and I'm gonna guide him... 1442 01:19:50,452 --> 01:19:52,663 ...and I'll be there whenever he needs me. 1443 01:19:52,955 --> 01:19:55,749 I'll fly to New York to be at his court case... 1444 01:19:55,958 --> 01:19:58,919 ...even if I disagree with why he's there. 1445 01:19:59,378 --> 01:20:02,506 But, Sonny, you work in a tollbooth. 1446 01:20:02,798 --> 01:20:04,091 Don't worry about money. 1447 01:20:04,300 --> 01:20:07,594 I am in love with a beautiful girl who makes plenty of it. 1448 01:20:07,803 --> 01:20:10,139 She'll be my sugar mama. 1449 01:20:11,390 --> 01:20:13,017 I gotta get me one of those. 1450 01:20:14,143 --> 01:20:17,688 I know this is the right thing because I would die for this kid... 1451 01:20:17,896 --> 01:20:20,441 ...just so he won't feel one ounce of sadness. 1452 01:20:20,649 --> 01:20:25,029 That's why you're here right now, to protect me, to be scared for me... 1453 01:20:25,321 --> 01:20:27,239 ...to be a good father. 1454 01:20:28,240 --> 01:20:30,659 And that's exactly what I'm gonna be. 1455 01:20:35,205 --> 01:20:36,749 Hello, Dad? 1456 01:20:37,207 --> 01:20:39,585 Yeah, I just wanted to say I love you. 1457 01:20:39,835 --> 01:20:43,339 Hi, Mom? Could you put Dad on the phone for a second? 1458 01:20:46,550 --> 01:20:48,552 Can I borrow that when you're done? 1459 01:20:49,345 --> 01:20:50,929 Your Honor... 1460 01:20:52,181 --> 01:20:53,974 ...my son deserves this kid. 1461 01:21:06,111 --> 01:21:07,780 I love you too, sir. 1462 01:21:09,740 --> 01:21:11,325 Mr. Koufax... 1463 01:21:11,825 --> 01:21:14,328 ...the fact is you kidnapped this child. 1464 01:21:14,536 --> 01:21:16,413 Not only shouldn't you get custody... 1465 01:21:16,622 --> 01:21:19,666 ...but since you obtained him by defrauding the state... 1466 01:21:19,917 --> 01:21:21,960 ...you should be in jail. 1467 01:21:22,294 --> 01:21:25,798 Bailiff, remand him until I can figure out the punishment. 1468 01:21:25,964 --> 01:21:27,966 Wait. You can't take him away. 1469 01:21:29,676 --> 01:21:32,554 As that boy's father, I refuse to press charges. 1470 01:21:34,848 --> 01:21:37,518 Oh, God. Corinne, I'm sorry. 1471 01:21:37,684 --> 01:21:40,187 Six years ago, Joe Carter.... 1472 01:21:40,354 --> 01:21:41,563 Joe Carter? 1473 01:21:41,772 --> 01:21:44,066 Toronto and the Phillies. World Series. 1474 01:21:44,483 --> 01:21:46,860 Mitch Williams-- We flew up for the night. 1475 01:21:48,487 --> 01:21:51,323 - There was a girl. - Oh, God. 1476 01:21:51,490 --> 01:21:53,992 I'm an idiot. I was so hammered. 1477 01:21:54,159 --> 01:21:57,371 Chicken wings, Molson 3-0. Canadian beer is like moonshine. 1478 01:21:57,579 --> 01:21:58,705 Hell, yes. 1479 01:21:58,872 --> 01:22:01,333 You remember? It was at that Toronto Hooters. 1480 01:22:04,002 --> 01:22:07,840 That was before he met you. That Hooters thing is a coincidence. 1481 01:22:08,173 --> 01:22:09,550 I'm sorry, Corinne. 1482 01:22:09,716 --> 01:22:13,720 I know this changes everything, but I had to do the right thing. 1483 01:22:15,722 --> 01:22:17,182 Mr. Castellucci. 1484 01:22:19,017 --> 01:22:21,311 Pending a blood test, I.... 1485 01:22:21,478 --> 01:22:22,521 Whatever. 1486 01:22:22,688 --> 01:22:27,609 The court grants custody to Kevin Gerrity, pending the DNA test results. 1487 01:22:32,406 --> 01:22:35,617 I want you to be my dad, Sonny. 1488 01:22:35,868 --> 01:22:37,870 I know. I do too, pal. 1489 01:22:38,120 --> 01:22:42,207 But I'm not sure that can happen exactly the way we want it. 1490 01:22:42,416 --> 01:22:45,210 Because it seems you already have a daddy. 1491 01:22:45,711 --> 01:22:47,754 But I'll tell you what I can do. 1492 01:22:48,046 --> 01:22:51,508 I can be your friend, no matter what. All right? 1493 01:22:51,717 --> 01:22:53,427 I'll always be your friend. 1494 01:22:53,677 --> 01:22:56,430 I'll always be your family. I'll always be around. 1495 01:22:56,722 --> 01:22:58,348 I promise. 1496 01:22:58,640 --> 01:23:00,434 The kid's good at tying his shoes. 1497 01:23:00,684 --> 01:23:02,769 He's not great at it, so work with him. 1498 01:23:02,936 --> 01:23:05,689 - I'll teach him bunny ears. - What's bunny ears? 1499 01:23:05,898 --> 01:23:08,275 Make bunny ears, cross and pull them through. 1500 01:23:08,525 --> 01:23:12,029 I go with this loop, swoop and pull thing. He likes that. 1501 01:23:12,237 --> 01:23:15,073 - I don't know that. - Go with the loop, swoop and pull. 1502 01:23:15,282 --> 01:23:17,034 I swear to God it's working. 1503 01:23:17,284 --> 01:23:18,452 All right. 1504 01:23:19,036 --> 01:23:23,248 Go with the bunny ears thing. You're his dad, right? I'm sorry. 1505 01:23:23,415 --> 01:23:26,084 It's important, when you eat at my restaurant... 1506 01:23:26,293 --> 01:23:28,462 ...you never order BLT. 1507 01:23:28,670 --> 01:23:31,298 You must trust me. Stay away from BLT, okay? 1508 01:23:31,548 --> 01:23:32,633 Hey, guys. 1509 01:23:32,799 --> 01:23:35,427 I'm gonna leave you with your dad now, Julian. 1510 01:23:35,594 --> 01:23:38,180 He's a good man. I've known him my whole life. 1511 01:23:38,388 --> 01:23:41,266 So you two have fun and I'll see you in the morning. 1512 01:23:41,475 --> 01:23:42,684 All right? 1513 01:23:42,893 --> 01:23:46,104 - Quit scaring the kid for a minute. - Who am I scaring? 1514 01:23:46,313 --> 01:23:47,814 Bye, pal. 1515 01:23:50,067 --> 01:23:51,777 Hey, Julian. 1516 01:23:52,694 --> 01:23:54,947 I went to China. Do you know where that is? 1517 01:23:55,280 --> 01:23:56,698 It's in Asia, which is... 1518 01:23:56,907 --> 01:23:59,618 ...by Europe. I brought some cool stuff back. 1519 01:24:04,456 --> 01:24:06,333 Did you move the bench? 1520 01:24:07,292 --> 01:24:08,418 That's pretty funny. 1521 01:24:09,586 --> 01:24:12,798 You know what I got? Some noisemakers. Check this out. 1522 01:24:13,966 --> 01:24:15,342 Wanna try one? 1523 01:24:21,014 --> 01:24:22,516 That's my foot! 1524 01:24:45,664 --> 01:24:46,999 You're nice man. 1525 01:24:47,374 --> 01:24:50,627 I've got Spice Channel. It's blurry but it's nice. 1526 01:24:53,171 --> 01:24:55,382 Let's make this quick. I gotta get to work. 1527 01:24:55,549 --> 01:24:58,343 Holy shit. Sonny Koufax would rather work than eat. 1528 01:24:58,552 --> 01:25:02,848 I'm working on a big case. I gotta sue you for making me come here. 1529 01:25:06,184 --> 01:25:07,894 Surprise! 1530 01:25:10,564 --> 01:25:13,400 Did you just waste the good surprise on me again? 1531 01:25:15,319 --> 01:25:16,820 Hi, Corinne. 1532 01:25:17,029 --> 01:25:19,323 - Happy birthday. - Thanks, everybody. 1533 01:25:19,531 --> 01:25:21,283 Hey, you guys. How are you? 1534 01:25:21,491 --> 01:25:23,368 Happy birthday, Daddy. 1535 01:25:24,870 --> 01:25:26,163 How you doing, cutie? 1536 01:25:26,371 --> 01:25:29,082 Sonny, I beat you so bad in basketball yesterday. 1537 01:25:29,374 --> 01:25:32,002 From now on, I have to stop letting you win. 1538 01:25:32,210 --> 01:25:34,296 I stopped that months ago. He still wins. 1539 01:25:34,504 --> 01:25:36,340 That's because you suck. 1540 01:25:36,882 --> 01:25:40,010 Corinne, put a tank top on for old time's sake. 1541 01:25:40,218 --> 01:25:42,929 - What is he talking about, Mommy? - Nothing. 1542 01:25:44,389 --> 01:25:47,100 - Happy birthday, Sonny. - Thank you. 1543 01:25:47,351 --> 01:25:48,393 It's a clock radio. 1544 01:25:48,602 --> 01:25:50,937 - Thanks for telling me. - I have to split. 1545 01:25:51,104 --> 01:25:52,272 I got deliveries. 1546 01:25:52,439 --> 01:25:54,441 Hang out with us. We'll have fun. 1547 01:25:54,691 --> 01:25:57,736 No, I can't stay. I'll hang for a little bit. 1548 01:25:57,903 --> 01:26:00,405 There you go. Come on, let's eat, everybody. 1549 01:26:00,614 --> 01:26:02,949 Hey, you! Still missing that tooth, huh? 1550 01:26:03,241 --> 01:26:04,409 Can we get some fries? 1551 01:26:06,328 --> 01:26:08,747 - Vanessa. - Hi, Sonny. 1552 01:26:08,914 --> 01:26:10,332 You're a Hooters girl? 1553 01:26:10,540 --> 01:26:13,043 What happened to Sid's five-year plan? 1554 01:26:18,048 --> 01:26:20,050 How you doing? 1555 01:26:20,717 --> 01:26:24,638 - Maybe it's a 10-year plan. - Is that the guy with the old balls? 1556 01:26:24,846 --> 01:26:25,889 I think it is. 1557 01:26:26,348 --> 01:26:29,101 Come on. I bet they're nice. 1558 01:26:31,937 --> 01:26:35,273 You're not supposed to say "balls." Testicles. Okay?